Letter B Puns

I gave it a B-.

They only know what's below C level

Because they were Nazis

Because it’s sitting in the middle of the AC

Because its surrounded by a/c

Because it makes oil boil.

Found in a newspaper from 1859

It's easy, if you make B leave.

He saw the Buff A

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The direction the first letter faces

But I won’t letter!

I yelled back "I know all those letters!" Everyone laughed, well except this one guy.

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

She just wrote me a John Deere letter.

We were doing some deep cleaning today and I came across a Christmas letter from a few years ago from a family I've never heard of.

Her: "What is that?"

Me: "I don't know, it says greetings from a bunch of people I've never heard of."

Her: "Well, that's a strange greeting."

I was so proud when I heard that, I married an amazing woman. Our kids will have no hope.

but our parents didn't letter.

The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.

Occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters but never has five letters

They figured out the fairest way to name their country was to pull letters out of a hat. So they gathered around and a guy started pulling letters...

pulls letter "C, eh."

pulls another "N, eh."

pulls another "D, eh."

And that's how Canada got its name.

I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.

When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.

The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.

Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.

After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.

Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.

Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!

I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instruments—but it sure might be sheep or goat.

Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.

I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.

I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????

So I fucking called the museum

got the guy who interviewed me on the line—and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?

He said, yes, BUT.......

"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."

Nothing begins with the letter N and ends with a G.

The letter f

..a colleague came up to me and said, "I've got a good clue for you: "A postman's round"

I thought about it then asked, "How many letters?"

To which he replied, "Hundreds!"

It turns out, I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.

And I don't know y

But never made it past the Letter B Letter B Letter B Letter B

(Sing it you know you want to!)

but I guess they never got the letters.

About five letters.

Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

(most will respond "rrrrrr") to which you would answer:

You would think so, but their first love is actually the C. (sea)

....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.

Letter rip

I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.

.. then Soviet!

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?

DAD: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
SON: Envelope.

Because it’s between the AC

Because it’s sitting in the middle of the AC

Too bad my parents didn’t letter

Left me with a John Deere Letter.

The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.

A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.

This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...

I call it LETTER RIP