What is the Latin word for "one-piece bathing suit"?

Bikinus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus, or earth dweller.

In other words, it's a misgnomer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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What do you call two octopuses that look the same?

Itenticle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Make an entire Q of these.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackBleedingGray
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Ah I C what you did there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Well, you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naumanafsar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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A citizen of the roman empire is teleported to modern day Spain

Luckily, he is able to understand the Spanish Language to some degree because of its similarities to Latin. As he learns more, he is fine with most of the changes the Spaniards made, but disliked how β€œquid” (latin for β€œwhat”) translated.

Whenever he made his thoughts on the word known, he would get called an antique.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wjcb2019
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick-lachey-lol
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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Smart Cactus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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Entertainment puns

I have two favorite titles that are extremely clever puns.

β€œShawn the Sheep” β€œDexter”

β€œShawn the Sheep” is a sly play on the dialect of the characters in the animation. β€œShawn” and β€œshorn” have the same pronunciation in the dialect of the outskirts of Bristol, UK.

β€œDexter” is a wonderful Latin pun. β€œDexter” is the word for β€œright” and β€œSinister” is the implied compliment, the word for β€œleft” in Latin. Dexter is a series about a serial killer who only murders those guilty of crimes. His name in Latin implies he is the opposite of sinister, right or just.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipindy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My 3 year old smiled... started to laugh, and then said "Not funny"

Going over the alphabet with my 3 year old and he asks "What's after Z?"

"What's after Z? Well, it's Now."

"Now?"

"Now I know my ABCs..."

"Not funny."

My wife groaned, and my 6 year old shook his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phaseMonkey
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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A struggling young news reporter was having trouble getting good sound bites from the politicians she was sent out to interview, so she invited an experienced colleague out to dinner to ask for advice.

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".

Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podgress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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My dad just owned me in a facebook message rap battle.

First of all, yes my family have rap battles over facebook, we are that white. It's been a fun rap battle of sorts, and my dad just threw down then well... Here is the conversation:


Father: Parental rap battle, game over with this one...

Father: You say we are weak

that our rhymes are the worst

Just remember my lad that we were here first

Rap didn't begin right now with your gang

It started with ours and came out with a bang

That we can't rap - on Twitter you say

o what a betrayal, Et tu, Brute

Oh no, oh snap, did that happen here

Dad threw down some latin from Will Shakespeare

I'm done with this battle and now I'll decree

Just remember my apple you fell from this tree

Me: I honestly have no words.

Father: Shit.... [TheLegitMidgit] is speechless. How could that be?

Me: Color me impressed.

Father: Is that green?

Me: Stop while you're ahead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLegitMidgit
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
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Got dad joked by my dad

I asked him if he knew what Latin word procrastinate comes from. He said "I'll tell you later."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnewman19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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