Kelvin Kirk Puns

That's a party!

We all know that Kelvin Kirk was a big fan of classical music, namely the Beastie Boys, from a young age. The song Intergalactic, contains this line:

If you try to knock me you'll get mocked I'll stir fry you in my wok Your knees'll start shakin' and your fingers pop Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock

Seeing as he most definitely heard this song repeatedly from a young age, it's only logical to assume that he was convinced by the Beastie Boys not to trust Spock.

But why?

Let's explore Intergalactic further...

Now when it comes to envy y'all is green Jealous of the rhyme and the rhyme routine Another dimension, new galaxy Intergalactic, planetary

It's obvious.

Nero used the Beastie Boys to ensure his master plan would work.

During the 25 years between the events that destroyed the Kelvin and the destruction of Vulcan, he had plenty of Red Matter to explore time, eventually meet the revolutionary rap boy-band The Beastie Boys, tell them how much Prime Spock sucks, and then go back to their new future, secretly get Kelvin Kirk into the band, therefore ensuring Kirk's future self could never team up with Spock and stop him.

The only thing Nero is guilty of here is overkill. That and genocide. By killing Spock's mother (and planet), he emotionally compromised Spock, who unknowingly put Kirk right next to Spock's Prime counterpart, leading to his own defeat.

TL;DR: Nero went back in time to convince Kirk's favorite band to write superliminal messages about Spock, in an effort to make sure they wouldn't be friends.

Intergalactic was born.

While I am not a huge fan of the JJ Abrams remake I like this the best, I feel it is truest to Trek.

One thing I never bought in the Kelvin remakes was the Kirk - Spock relationship , the whole maroon thing and then Kirk making him act irrationally to become Captain after - just did not jive right and in the later films they are just like best friends again. I did not feel their relationship was developed in realistic or rather natural fashion in the Kelvin universe.

"Steve Trevor" sacrifices himself to save the world at the end of Wonder Woman, but really it was Captain Kirk who time traveled to the past to kill Nazis and bang Wonder Woman. In the end he doesn't die because he beams out at the last second and that's why he's in the new movie.

I love the Kelvin films. They first brought me to Star Trek and the series and original movies and animated stuff which I also love. Star Trek 2009 and Star Trek Beyond are still two of my favourite pieces of Trek media and I hold them both dearly. Into Darkness... exists, but Benedict Cumberbatch and Alice Eve and all the references make it worth it.

But, obviously and unfortunately, it is now impossible to continue with the same Enterprise crew as was introduced in 2009. But I still really like the Kelvin timeline and think it has a lot of promise.

So, how would you suggest the Kelvin films move on? Do they just kick Chekov out for some reason and carry on as normal? I think that would be even worse than the near perpetual limbo we have now. Do they just skip past it and move straight to Picard films (which would be the next logical step)? I think that wouldn’t provide the closure on Kirk’s Crew I at least so desperately need.

I’d be glad to hear more about this and talk about ST in general as this is probably my first proper post here and I’m excited to get onto anything past Voyager.

But hey, if they do go the Generations route, we could finally have Kirk, Spock and Bones on the Enterprise-B maiden voyage like it was originally planned.

Sisko stole the title for his.......

Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a common point of discussion in this forum regarding the version of Captain Kirk as seen in the so-called "Kelvin Timeline" and his actual fitness for command. As we all are aware, he went from joining the Academy (essentially on a dare and at the word of Captain Christopher Pike, who owed his life to Lieutenant George Kirk of the U.S.S. Kelvin) in 2255 to becoming first officer (again on Captain Pike's word, despite being one of literally the most junior officers aboard) under Acting Captain Spock. When Spock relieved himself of command, Kirk took over and admittedly was instrumental in saving Earth from following Vulcan into destruction at the hands of the mad Romulan Nero. For this, Kirk - who was still technically a cadet at the time - received a permanent appointment to the rank of Captian, jumping decades of seniority in an instant, and permanent command of the Federation flagship, U.S.S. Enterprise.

Allow me to repeat that. A third-year cadet, not even an officer who had finished their initial Starfleet training period, and admittedly one that had acquitted himself in laudable fashion and ended a crisis that had already destroyed one founding Federation world and was minutes away from doing the same to Earth, was simply given a rank that normally takes decades to earn and command of the most advanced ship in Starfleet. A promotion to, say, Lieutenant, and give him a decoration for valor? Absolutely. Jump his career ahead by two or three decades and snub all of the officers who have put in the blood, sweat, and tears to get to that point in their careers over those same two or three decades? Unbelievable.

Later, after an initial few months' exploration missions where Kirk seemed to lead Enterprise from crisis to crisis, he returned to Earth after knowingly and deliberately breaking the Prime Directive, flying his ship in full view of a Stone Age equivalent civilization doing unknowable and likely irreparable harm to their long-term development, and attempts to conceal those actions. Admiral Pike relieves Kirk of command and intends to return him to the Academy, presumably to finish the training he missed and hopefully from there put him in position to gain the experience a starship captain so desperately needs... and then appoints Kirk his first officer aboard Enterprise just in time for Khan's ambush of the Admiralty and putting Kirk back in the captain's seat of Enterprise. Again, Kirk's absurd lu

In both the Kelvin and Prime timelines, James Kirk does the same thing to "beat" the Kobayashi Maru test: he cheats by altering the programming so as to make the scenario winnable.

In the Prime timeline, as he says in TWOK, Kirk says that this got him a commendation "for original thinking." In the Kelvinverse, this same action gets Kirk put in a formal disciplinary hearing, punished, and reprimanded, being grounded from starship duty.

So, what is it that made Starfleet so diametrically opposite in its treatment of Kirk's action in the two timelines?

Lasky is sent on a mission to investigate a potential covenant transmission on a unknown planet but instead finds Kirk stranded on the planet sending a signal for the Enterprise to find him. The two believing the other is an enemy fight. Who takes out the other first?

• Lasky has marine armor and a pistol.

• Kirk has his suit from Star Trek Beyond and a phaser.

• Takes place in a rocky terrain foreign to both of them.

• fight to death, who wins?

For one, the character of Christopher Pike is not significantly older than Kirk, less than a decade in fact. Therefore it's unlikely that Pike would look so old in relation to Kirk, or that Kirk would consider him a father figure. On the other hand, Robert April is a seasoned veteran Starfleet officer who was the Enterprise's first captain in the Prime Timeline, by the time of the 2009 movie April would've been in his sixties. Also, the only 'canon' imagery of Captain April (in TAS) shows a man whom Bruce Greenwood could easily portray. Arguably, the reason they went with Pike instead of April is that Pike is more famous in canon and, until DIS mentioned him, Captain April was native to TAS, a show which is generally considered non-canon. Still, if they were going to use Pike, they should've gotten a Jeffrey Hunter lookalike and written him differently.

https://imgur.com/a/2nvpLiD

These files have been added to the Kelvin timeline folder in the google drive directory. Please see the Featured Costumes Index thread for the updated download link. Enjoy!

U.S.S Kelvin should exist in this timeline. I know its 20 years after the events of Star Trek(2009 film) in this timeline but I think it would be cool to have the Discovery help the Kelvin out of a situation.

I was just rewatching 'Conscience of the King' when I realized that Kelvin Kirk was probably dealing with his step-dad at the age he should have been on Tarsus IV.

Kodos and his massacre is a big deal for J.T. Kirk, shaping much of his belief that all life is precious and that fascism is bad. But so what if he doesn't experience it? Shouldn't the death of his father and that crew instead be enough?

I don't know, considering he's driving around cars when he should be close to death. On one hand Kelvin Kirk's experiences are more personal (his father in '09, his crew in ID, his federation(?) in Beyond), which makes them less altruistic than J.T. Kirk, but not necessarily any less traumatizing than surviving a holocaust.

I imagine Kelvin Kirk's mother would have never let him out her sight, which would be why he never lives on Tarsus IV (apparently away from any family considering he was one of a few witnesses and he did not lose any close family there).

What do you think? Does this change of events have important implications on Kirk's character or is it a wash?

(considering Animated as a seperate timeline since, while it is a spinoff of TOS, nothing it raises comes up in later series, so we could consider it a divergent timeline.)

Even though we had the Kelvin timeline movies those still maintained continuity with the original Spock being sent back in time and being part of the events of those movies. And likewise Romulus is still destroyed in the present timeline.

Besides that, across nearly 10 different series now, spanning over 50+ years, and despite the number of different writers, directors, showrunners, etc. that each show has had over the years, the Star Trek franchise is one big continuity on-screen for over 50+ years. Sure there's stuff that gets relegated to non-canon like some of the books, comics, and videogames, but for everything that's part of a TV series or movie, it always, "counts."

I honestly can't think of many other franchises that maintain continuity like this over nearly 6 decades. Even stuff like James Bond which has been running since the 60's same as Trek has hard reboots or "soft canon" where it can't all fit together.

One thing that always brings me back to Star Trek is despite so many different series it's all part of the same universe and continuity. Everything, "counts" so to speak. You don't feel like a new show is making a previous one obsolete. I really like that, and it's staggering they've been able to do this over the decades with both Gene passing, and as I mentioned the countless different writers, directors, and showrunners that have changed between each series.

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I caught up on Discovery and Prodigy this week, and it seemed fitting to end with “The Cage” last night, because I missed it on my TOS watch.

Before this date last year, my experience with Trek was very limited. I have vague early 90s childhood memories of Final Frontier (Spock’s boots and “Why does God need a starship?”), and an even more vague memory of Worf spinning around a bat’leth. I watched the Kelvin movies in theaters, and that was the totality of my Trek experience. I always wanted to watch, but the size of the library was daunting, so I kept putting it off. I watched “Encounter at Farpoint” on January 9th, 2021, and I was hooked, so I went back and started at TOS and watched all the series and movies according to this subreddit’s wiki’s recommended watch order.

Quick little explanation here for how I watched that much in one year. I have insomnia and a baby, so I usually watched two episodes per night while trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I binged (TAS, Short Treks, Lower Decks, final 10 episodes of DS9).

With all that out of the way, man, what a journey, and what a great time to get into Trek! Not only is there a massive library and new episodes coming out every week, but there’s also so much supplemental content. I listen to Greatest Gen/Discovery and The Pod Directive at work. This subreddit has been a great companion, and a Memory Alpha tab has permanent residence on my phone. I just want to share my quick thoughts on each of the series, and some thoughts on some of my favorite characters. (The early stuff is not fresh in my mind)

TOS - This show is so damn fun. Something it doesn’t get enough credit for us how intentionally funny it is, because it is often a subtle line muttered quietly, or a character’s word choice and delivery cracks me up. When Star Trek tries to be funny it has a long history of often missing the mark, but I think TOS is the intentionally funniest series. Sure, it’s also unintentionally funny from our perspective in 2022, but in addition to those awkward moments they were also trying to be funny most of the time, and they were nailing it. Spock is handsome as hell and so cheeky. Bones is a wonderful mix of boyish charm and grumpy old curmudgeon. There are more interesting captains after Kirk, but this is where I started my ST journey in earnest, and I loved how he always presses on. “Risk is our business” is a seminal Star Trek moment. While there are quite a few episodes that are total duds (I will never,

I'm watching the '09 movie now, and they may have stated something about it that I may have missed. But it can't just be a coincidence right?

EDIT: you're all wonderful people 🖖🏽

Do you think the ST: Discovery/Strange New Worlds showrunners will address the Pre-Narada/Spock timeline USS Kelvin era ships from ST: 11? And if they will ever nail down exactly when the Discovery era ships were built?

For my sanity and headcanon, and I am still polishing it up, I essentially placed the ST: Discovery Era ship classes of the 1st Generation as being constructed in the 2180-2190s. This makes the most sense to me. The ST: Enterprise Era ships of the Pre-Federation Generation were all designed and built in the 2140-2160s. Then the Federation was formed in 2161, so all the member races would have contributed their existing ships to fill out Starfleet until the Federation could build their own unified ships and merge everyone's technology, a process that would have easily taken about 20 years.

This would place the 1st Generation of Starfleet ships coming online around the 2180s starting with the Walker Class (This is why it is said to be older and has different nacelles and an older look than the rest of the ST: Discovery ships), then, following the Walker's success, would come the Magee, Shepherd, Nimitz, Cardenas, Engle, Hiawatha, Crossfield, Hoover, and Malachowski classes in the 2190s. These operate for about 30 years, which is roughly how long the Federation tends to utilize a Generation of ships before a major redesign.

Then in the 2220s, you would see the 2nd Generation or, ST: 11 (Pre-Narada) Kelvin Era, ships come online. These are the older-style ships you see in the J.J. Abrams movie ST: 11, the ones operating before the Narada and Spock affected the timeline, with the nacelles similar to the ones on the USS Kelvin. They are the classes like the USS Kelvin type, Kobayashi Maru type, Armstrong, Mayflower, Newton, Magellan, and others. These would operate for another 30 years until you see the 3rd Generation of the ST: TOS Era classes arrive in the 2250s.

It would also explain why the Federation performed so badly in the war with the Klingons. The war occurred in 2256-2257. By 2256 the older 1st Generation, ST: Discovery era, ships would have been nearing the end of their 60 or so year service lives and would be outdated. Also, the 2nd Generation, ST: 11 (Pre-Narada) Kelvin Era, ships would be heading into their mid-life refit phase, so most of their technology would be 30 years old. The newer 3rd Generation, ST: TOS Era, classes including the Constitution Class would be in the m

In one of the later episodes of season two, Georgiou tells Pike that she's a Terran from the mirror universe which he acknowledges with a wink while he's energizing/transporting.

Can someone please explain what is up with that wink??

Is the Hood the best option? Would the Melbourne be best? He could've gone much further, earlier, if he took the Aeries...

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So I just finished first season of TOS. I have watched, loved and rewatched all of TNG and DS9, I have seen no movies except Kelvin timeline. Ive also tried some Picard and Discovery but did not really enjoy it.

So after this first season ,I dont find it very enjoyable. IMHO: Worst episodes are the ones with alot of physical fights. Best episode is the very enjoyable "The city on the egde of forever", were the doc goes to 1930s america and kirk and spock have to follow him.

Does it get better? Is their any 90s era fans who does not like the rest, or am i just jugding too hard?

Sorry for bad english, I'm danish.

So after exhausting most of the Star Trek shows and movies ,I decided to watch the Kelvin Timeline Star Trek reboot by JJ Abrams , some of the aspects in the movie makes absolutely no sense.

1.How on earth are Sulu and Chekov already senior officers and Kirk is barely a cadet out of Starfleet academy?

2.How the hell is Uhura also promoted to Lieutenant fresh out of the Academy ?

3.What on earth was Captain Pike thinking by making Kirk, barely fresh graduate of the academy , as the ships First Officer !

4.Finally what the blazes was Starfleet smoking when they just up and up made Kirk as a captain ? Kirk basically went from an academy cadet to a Captain skipping ,Ensign, Lieutenant ,Lt-cmndr , Commander

Seriously what movie did I even watch

In the Voyager episode "Deadlock", one version of Ensign Harry Kim dies, but is immediately and seamlessly replaced on Voyager's crew by his duplicate - one of only two survivors from a duplicate Voyager that was destroyed.

Given the point of divergence between Harry Kim and his duplicate was only in the recent past, and that Voyager is stranded in the delta quadrant and can't defer to Starfleet HQ, it's understandable that his duplicate would simply take over as the Harry Kim on board without too much fuss or concern (aside from the nagging existential questions about him being a duplicate of himself that are never again addressed).

However, what if the point of divergence was more significant?

We see this again with Harry Kim in "Non Sequitur" when Harry wakes up in an alternate timeline where he was never a member of Voyager's crew, and is back on Earth - but with all his memories from Voyager. Eventually he's able to successfully "fix" the timeline, and everything for him goes back to "normal" - i.e. he's back on Voyager in the "prime" timeline.

Then we have "Endgame", where Vice Admiral Janeway travels to the past, meets her past self and pulls rank on herself.

All of this is to say: Imagine a scenario where Harry Kim (A) is on Earth working at Starfleet Headquarters. Then, a time traveling / alternate timeline Harry Kim (B) is teleported through a rift in space-time. But, that Harry Kim (B) is from a different timeline; one with a point of divergence in the distant past. His Starfleet is similar enough yet different in meaningful ways. Say, for example, in the (B) timeline, the Prime Directive doesn't exist, or perhaps teleporters work differently in (A), etc. Whatever it was that brought him here, though, is gone. Everyone decides the new Harry Kim (B) is here to stay, and now there's two of them living on Earth.

My question is: Given the similar-but-different Starfleet Harry Kim (B) knows, would Starfleet still recognize his rank as Ensign?

That is to say: Would he have to go back to the academy and start again from scratch? Would he to do some kind of competency assessment? Would he be able to get an assignment on a new starship right away?

(I know this is going to sound like I'm making a joke about Harry Kim never getting a promotion, but I'm honestly curious how you think Starfleet would handle such a scenario.)

Tarka has told us he needs the power source of the DMA to reach another universe where everything is awesome. We are aware if a few alternative universes so far.

The mirror where everyone is a cartoon villain, not awesome.

The universe where Worf banged Troi, pretty awesome.

The universe where Worf lost the bat'leth tournament on Forcas III, not awesome.

The JJVerse, aka the Kelvin Timeline, where Vulcan is destroyed, opening up way more radical (less logical) possibilities. But more importantly where The Beastie Boys are a super weapon, as we see at the end of Star Trek Beyond where their dope jams destroy the gnarly wave of drones and Kirk proceeds to surf the explosion wave (this would never happen in a universe with a bunch of Vulcan kill joys).

Tarka, being from Risa and all about pleasure found the dopest universe there is, and that is the JJVerse. And since The Beastie Boys are the ultimate power we can theorize that the DMA is powered by The Beastie Boys.

I hope he gets there and does some sick motorcycle jumps.

Why do folks generally hate Nemesis so much? I've been rewatching the movies and I don't understand the hate.

Most people didn't like Generations and loved First Contact.

I liked Generations except the death if Kirk because I felt like killing him was unnecessary. I like to think of characters continuing on amd doing other stuff.

By time Nemesis came around, what story is there to tell? They tried having a stand alone "episode of week" movie with Insurrection and people seemed.to hate that too.

The Dominion war was.over, the galaxy was generally at peace. There was already movie about the Borg and with tike travel and a stand alone movie. The Romulans were am obvious choice. Tge character of Shinzon is cool and the cloning thing doesn't seem that far fetched. (He'll They had a double agent impeded already back in TNG series)

Hiw many times can you fight Klingons or Borg? Cardassians? Meh...

You also get 30+ min of the greatest space battle ever seen in Trek where finally a Federation ship is shown to be something other than a glass cannon where the shields aren't at 30% after first volley.

I read people thinking its a ripoff of ST II bc Data sacrifices himself. But that was something Spiner had requested. There was ALWAYS going to be an issue when you have a character that's supposed to be immortal played by a mortal actor who ages. The Dune buggy scene is probably worst part of movie but it's not that bad.

I've watched all 10 prime universe movies the last 2 weeks. TNG order best to worst would be: First Contact, Nemesis, Insurrection and Generations.

TOS: Wrath of Khan, Undisclosed County, Search for Spock/Voyage Home,(I think of them as 1 long movie) Final Frontier and last is Motion Picture.

Kelvin timeline is: Star Trek, Into Darkness and Beyond.

But honestly Nemesis is just a really enjoyable flick and ice never understood the hate.

I see a lot of bad comments about this movie, but I think it is much better than the previous one, Into the darkness.