My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.
I said, βWho is this guy?β
My grandfather: Thatβs my hip replacement.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Why are skinny jeans like a cheap hotel?
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︎ May 05 2021
My clothes were having a competition to decide which one is the coolest
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︎ May 28 2021
Why do you never see people running in Jeans alone?
Because Jeans run in a family
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Jean-Pierreβs dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
I accidentally left some money in my jeans as they went through the wash.
I just worry because I know itβs illegal to launder money.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
If I have $120 in one pocket, and $180 in the other pocket what do I have?
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︎ May 26 2021
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
"The Epic Split" featuring Jean Claude Van Damme
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Jean Pool
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︎ Sep 16 2020
What did Micheal Jackson call his denim store?
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︎ May 15 2021
A lot of people say the me and my older brother look alike
I agree because I have his jeans
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︎ May 23 2021
I heard about a politician who was caught accepting bribes from a jean company.
Heβs in the pocket of big pants.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
TIL that diarrhoea is genetic....
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︎ May 16 2021
Why did the guy in the dad jeans get a COVID test?
Because he didn't have any taste
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Being a scarecrow isn't for everyone.
Butt hay, it's in my jeans.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Why did the scarecrow get an award?
He was outstanding in his field
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︎ Apr 13 2021
You need two i's
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Jean-Claude VAN damm
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Just found out that diarrhoea is hereditary...
...apparently it runs in your jeans.
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︎ May 14 2021
What is Jean Luc Picard's favorite shotgun?
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
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︎ Mar 07 2020
What do you call a man with holes in his jeans?
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︎ Oct 10 2020
My wife insisted she has nudist genes
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
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︎ Sep 25 2020
As a chubby guy, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.
I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Be impressed about my top-floor DIY walk-in closet for my denim wear.
You can call me a jean attic engineer
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︎ May 06 2021
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
Did you know that Diarrhea is hereditary?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
My grandpa just came over to my house with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. Miffed, I questioned, βWho's this guy?β Gramps chuckled and replied, "Who, him?"
"This is my hip replacement!"
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︎ May 28 2020
A mom joke really, as my wife said it as we walked passed an Easter service letting out where "Sunday finest" isn't a thing.
Me: "Really?! She wore ripped jeans to an Easter mass?"
Wife: "Those are her holy jeans."
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I lost my sweatpants, so I wore a pair of jeans to the gym.
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︎ Apr 24 2020
my first good pun...made at 1 in the morning
WHAT DO YOU SAY IN FRANCE IF YOUR JEANS ARE LOOSE ?
TOULOUSE
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︎ Feb 09 2021
My family suffers from chronic diarrhea
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Do you know the problem with fashion nazis?
They're always arguing over who has the best jeans
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Iβm sorry Carl, diarrhea is hereditary
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What if Jeans was actually pronounced like Jean. Like in Jean Paul Marat.
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︎ Jul 31 2019
Skinny jeans aren't for everyone...
I personally don't think I could pull them off.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
How come the Hulk doesnβt lose his pants when he transforms?
The scientific experiments altered his jeans
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︎ May 22 2020
Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel room....
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︎ Feb 12 2021
I heard about a politician who was caught taking bribes from a jean company.
Heβs in the pocket of big pants.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What are Marioβs jeans made of?
Denim denim denim, denim denim denim
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
This morning, grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans. I asked, βWho is this guy?β
Grandpa: My hip replacement.
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︎ Jul 26 2018
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