Jesus’ brother, James: Boss, my brother just died. I need the day off.

Boss: No problem.

(3 days later)

James: Boss, my brother is in town. I need the day off.

Boss: Wait a second...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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My friend just had three kids! He asked me what to name them. I said β€˜James, Charles and Li Zhao’ He asked me why the last one was Li Zhao. So I said β€˜Because every 3rd person born in this world is Chinese
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetyboi8787
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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β€œDid you hear that James was just sent to the hospital?”

β€œI can’t imagine what state he must be in.”

β€œHe’s in Nevada.”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone11gone11
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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My Dad is a former Biology teacher...

I was telling my family that my friend's dad, James, had recently gotten a vasectomy. Without missing a beat my dad exclaimed "If he were a plant he'd be a Jim-no-sperm!" and laughed uproariously while the rest of the family just shook their heads.

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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
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Just stumbled on this sub. It's the reason my Dad exists.

So the joke goes "You know, James Madison was a naturalist. A lot of people don't know that. He really loved the environment and care a lot about wildlife. In fact, he tried to put protecting wildlife into the bill of rights, but a lot of people don't know that he was dyslexic too. So when he was writing the 2nd amendment he wrote the right to bear arms, but what he meant was the right to arm bears!"

Just went on a tour of revolutionary battlegrounds (truly amazing if you ever get the chance) and that joke was told in excess of 50 times, no exaggeration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyrusGreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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