What did Homer Simpson say when he hit a deer in the street?
A guy sees a pirate walking down the street with a steering wheel in his pants...
He yells, hey! Hey, pirate! There's a steering wheel in your pants! Pirate says, Aarr, I know! It's driving me nuts!
A sinkhole just opened up in our high Street.
The police are looking into it.
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?"
His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
What’s a Wall Street farmer’s favorite thing to invest in?
I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.
What do you call it when there is a crack in the street?
Why couldn't picabo street work as a receptionist in the I.C.U.?
She would say "picabo I.C.U."
I saw a bear begging for food in the street.
I got stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey.
"What do you know about dwarfs?" She asked.
"Very little." I replied.
I found this Arhaus employee tag yesterday... In the middle of the street
imgur.com/DZvBeYe
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....
What did the man say to the rabid dog in the street?
So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...
So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position
I had been lost in Las Vegas for days, wandering the streets. Up ahead, I thought I saw my hotel...
A policeman stopped me in my car and said “Excuse me sir. Do you know this is a one way street?”
“Yes officer, I’m only going one way”. I replied.
A yearly tradition, my family gets together and everyone rides in a wagon thru the city, saying "hello" to all people on the street...
Since the government's instituted shelter-in-place orders, lions have been roaming main street...
Ya know, I saw superhero on the street once, he was in line for a hotdog, read this guys mind and saw that his head was in the clouds, and he just pushed in front of him!
If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.
I saw a pirate walking down the street with a ship wheel stuffed in his pants. I said..."Hey, pirate...is that a ship wheel in your pants?" He said...
aye, matey it's driving me nuts!
(Sorry if it’s already been posted) Underwood street in Sydney
Found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would Jesus do
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today.
Thousands of people were fighting in the streets
The news said it was a sad situation.
I thought it was a riot.
I didn't know I'd turned down the wrong street in Mexico...
Til I got pulled over for wrong direction on a Juan way street.
In the middle of our street...
It has been a bit of a strange day today... First of all I found a hat full of money in our local High Street,
then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!
I’m currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
My son asked me if he could turn around in the middle of the street. I replied:
Two peanuts were waking down the street, one was wrapped in its shell
People get really upset when I run up to them in the street, and try to make plaster casts of their faces.
At least that’s the impression I get.
My son saw some sneakers hanging from the phone lines in the street...
... he asked me "Hey dad, how did those shoes get up there?". I sombrely explained to my son that sometimes, when shoes die and they ascend to heaven, the laces get caught up and they get stuck like that.
My Son: "Dad! Shoe's don't go to heaven!", Me: "Of course they do! They've got soles don't they!?"
So, I was walking with my wife on the street, and we saw 6 six guys beating up my mother-in-law
Wife yells: Hey, aren't you going to help??
Me: No, six should be enough
TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.
I dressed up as Thanos and started screaming in the streets
Whenever I see a mime performing on the street, I always make sure I put my hand in my pocket and throw in some invisible money.
Yesterday I asked a stray dog "How's life in the streets?"
Word on the street is that their is a man running around all the craft stores dipping his scrotum in the glitter
You are a super villain who can scream supersonic classical music, you name is Bach the Fuck up. Would you rather rob banks for a living, or would you rather cause random chaos in the streets?
reddit.com/r/WouldYouRath…
In Corning I walked along Argonne Street, and I noticed all the houses were vacant.
A man in the street started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then but I didn't see that coming!
Some guy in the street threw a soda can at me.
I was lucky it was a soft drink.
Little mary jane was walking down the street with her mother. Her mother saw a quarter in the road and went out to pick it up and got hit by a bus.
Little mary jane just LAUGHED and LAUGHED.... she knew it was only a nickle.
I found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would jesus do
I've just been stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey.
She asked me what i knew about dwarfs.......I said "very little."
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