Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today

All of the crew are marooned

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📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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What's the difference between a dishwasher in a sports BBQ and a blue whale?

One cleans the grill, the other gleans the krill.

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👤︎ u/whosevelt
📅︎ May 16 2021
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Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?

They got no soul.

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👤︎ u/PNWKiwi
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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Whats blue and is in the ocean?

Navy blue

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👤︎ u/Aqb11
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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What is blue in color and not much heavy?

Light blue

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📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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What do you call a man covered in blue paint with a wrench taped to his hand?

Confused.

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📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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What happens when you drop a red hat in a blue ocean?

It gets wet

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📅︎ May 01 2020
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I've got a pedigree toothless Norwegian Blue Parrot I want to enter in competitions

I hope it sucks seeds

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📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery

It's an infantile problem

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👤︎ u/lfantine
📅︎ Jun 14 2020
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What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?

Really big hands.

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📅︎ May 01 2020
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The fact that everything we see in monitors is made up of only red, green and blue is amazing. I suppose you could say...

They RGBees knees

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👤︎ u/Spudzzy03
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...

...apparently, the survivors are marooned.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/mkay1911
📅︎ Feb 08 2017
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Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"

Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.

Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"

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👤︎ u/evilbrent
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
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Got into a country based pun battle on Facebook. That's me in blue. imgur.com/a/QbXWa
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📅︎ Nov 19 2014
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In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?

The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.

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📅︎ Jul 31 2019
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Girls get plenty of upvotes but what about Our Boys in blue? i.reddituploads.com/a6667…
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👤︎ u/python935
📅︎ Dec 07 2016
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What do you call a marine mammal in a vat of dark blue paint?

A navy seal.

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👤︎ u/tillmonkey
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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If I were a Rapper, my Rapper name would be Gershwin. I would distribute my CD's in blue wrappers

They would be Gershin's Rap CDs in Blue.

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👤︎ u/IranRPCV
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in my office just got some flowers out of the blue! They're absolutely gorgeous!"

I replied, "That's probably why they got flowers then."

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📅︎ Apr 30 2019
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You said I seemed a little blue. That's funny because I am in fact turquoise.
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👤︎ u/shagminer
📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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Traditionally, there are no blues used in oil paintings

That's a water color.

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👤︎ u/jas280z
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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My dog stepped in blue paint with two of his paws

Hairy pupper and the half-blued prints.

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📅︎ Mar 19 2019
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I recently visited my Doctor who happened to have a degree in mathematics for my blue balls

He simply said "Circumference" but unfortunately it didn't help me resolve my issue...

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👤︎ u/MundieR
📅︎ Feb 25 2019
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What do the Toronto Maple Leafs & the Toronto Blue Jays have in common ?

Neither team plays professional level Hockey.

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📅︎ Feb 10 2019
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Half-naked women get thousands of up votes; how many for our boys in blue?

Someone had to do it: http://imgur.com/a/N0Zah

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📅︎ Dec 07 2016
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What do you call a vegetable in a particular red white and blue pattern

Onion Jack

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👤︎ u/b8410
📅︎ Jul 17 2018
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Why can't a ginger play in a blue's band?

Because they have no soul.

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📅︎ Aug 30 2017
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Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.

He's a veteran Aryan.

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📅︎ Oct 01 2016
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Getting drunk is something you should do once in a Blue Moon
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👤︎ u/BigJoester
📅︎ Nov 23 2015
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What's blue in colour and not heavy?

Light Blue

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📅︎ May 29 2020
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A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.

Apparently the survivors are marooned.

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👤︎ u/trinzia
📅︎ May 31 2019
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Did you hear about the red cruise ship and blue cruise ship that collided in the Caribbean?

The survivors were marooned.

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📅︎ Jul 24 2018
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