Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?

You'll regret it in autumn when it leaves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dj_ordje
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call two horses in a relationship?

A stable relationship 🐎

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manzff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...

Or the farts you hold in.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend.

Haven't laughed in two years.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ltsNotAlex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my nose hair are in a friends-with-benefits relationship

No strils attached

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.

We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHere420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Me and my mother-in-law's relationship in a nut shell.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usdsquare
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m in a long distance relationship with a masochist.

It’s hit or miss.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When you're in a stable relationship.
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeQuemSabe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....

Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in a long-term relationship with a rollercoaster operator.

It had it's ups and downs.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never get in a relationship with a tennis player?

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trouble-in-space
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
i once was in a relationship with a cement worker

but nothing was really concrete

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patitude2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Two melons were in a relationship but the parents did not approve of it.

One suggested secretly running away together to get married, but the suggestion was shot down when the other said, "we cantaloupe!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalArbiter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
None of the planets in our solar system have shown interest in a relationship with Pluto

He's just too cold and distant.

Bonus punchline.. They just want a platonic friendship

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxRings
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.

I screamed, "Lego of me!"

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apostjustforthis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Everyone is in a relationship these days

Even derricks are hooked up

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
There are three rings in a relationship.

The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
There are 4 things really important in a relationship. 1 is love, 2 is sex, and what is 3 + 4?

7

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2016
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Taylor was in a new relationship pretty quick after her last one

I guess you could say that was some Swift work.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejazz97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad: If you want to be in a stable relationship...

Date a horse.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgratil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Statistics say that 1 out if 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

This worries me heavily, it could either be my wife or my girlfriend!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDPhoenix-8632
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful

I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeezHades
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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