I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
I remember that teacher asking me to name something that starts with the letter N that I was not very good at.
If I had a son I'd name him Kelvin.
Because kelvin is an absolute unit
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I gave my bike a new name after it came back from the bell repair shop
It has a nice ring to it.
Tony told me that I shouldn't spell his name backwards
My response was only: "y not?"
I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it “What’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?”
When I was young I was a graffiti artist and had my name all over the city but as I got older I thought "This has to stop".
"The writing's on the wall."
Even though I've never met you, I know how to spell your name. Do you want to know how?
I will never name my child Vince
My friend said I wouldn’t be able to name two structures that hold water.
I was like, “Well, damn.”
If I ever win a big monetary prize or inheritance, I'll change my last name to Bates.
My butler won't be amused though.
I like the name Frodo,
It really has a ring to it.
"Dad, I need help with my grammar homework. Can you name two pronouns?"
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
My middle name is Stevenson because my dads name is Steven and I’m his son.
So I guess you could say dad jokes are my middle name.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
....and the second one Duplikate.
I saw another coworker using the mayonnaise with my name on it from the fridge in the break room.
I said to him, “What the Hellman?”
I heard Dick van Dyke was asked to change his name because it was insensitive
Now he’s Penis von Lesbian.
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
"Hello, My name is Dave and I'm addicted to baby powder "
Someone: I like your name!
Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday
The name for the drawer where I keep my underwear?
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.
I must be going see Nile.
A guy name .zip seemed depressed, so I tried talking to him...
I just thought of a name for a Christian ninja.
I swear I just thought of it, and I'm surprised I've never heard it before. Ready? Wait for iiiiiiiiiit...
John Claude Van Dang.
I told my kids that "fortnight" was a stupid name for a video game.
When my son was born, I was struggling to come up with a name, so I asked a nurse for a cuppa tea...
When she got back, I asked how warm it is. She replied back with "Luke warm". And that is how earl gray got his name. (Not sure if this one is a dad joke)
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Don’t know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didn’t get it(third line)
I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was too uncommon.
I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
4 year-old daughter: Daddy, do you know what I'm going to name this cow from Chick-fil-a?
Moovie!
One man-tear was shed.
Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.
I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her.
Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....
One Whole
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
I couldn’t remember this guys name but knew it was Nate Gold-something.
Nobody believes me when I say I can name the prime minister of Canada
I was visiting my blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
I just found out that Bill Nye is just a stage name.
His real name is William New Year’s Eve.
I like writing my name in cursive.
I’m not sure if it’s true or false that he is the Prime Minister of Canada, but that his name is Justin
I tried to come up with a new name for vanishing cream.
But it just resulted in Dissap-ointment.
I've been trying to come up with a clever name for an amputee support group.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
......and the second one Duplikate.
If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate
And I'll name the other DupliKate
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
........and the second one DupliKate.
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