I Disappear Puns

Uno, Dos, POOF! He disappeared without a tres.

Hey pear 🍐 , you suck.

I just asked them to "Leave me a loan"...

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

Tom: Make my tea disappear Magician: Okay I will Om: You‘re not a good magician, my tea‘s still here.

Tom: *holding mug*
Do it to my tea

Magician: *waves hand*
Done

om: *holding cup*
It didn’t work...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

It's all just a bunch of smoke and mirrors

It was mist defying.

But it was butter then nothing.

Proceeds to leave town with his mistress and doesn’t even call on your birthday for 27 years. TWENTY-SEVEN Years. Then when you have your second child he tries to reconnect with you because he regrets all the lost time.

Fuck you pear you taste like shit.

Punchline:

He says, "Uno, dos..." poof... And he disappeared without a tres.

Fuck you pear, you taste like shit!

Magician: I can make disappear