I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
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︎ Mar 01 2021
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"
A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My neighbor says Iβm trespassing. Iβm unsure if I am or not.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I am not a dad, so I canβt tell dad jokes
To do so would be a faux pa...
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︎ Dec 19 2020
OC - I am not great at imitation in drawing, though
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︎ Nov 11 2020
its not mine but i found this and thought it was good so i am sharing it
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︎ Nov 26 2020
I am not proud of this... okay maybe a little bit
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I am not sure if this goes here
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Because I am not allowed to post media
https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I'm not a dad yet, but I'm practicing for when I am (should be in about 20 years)
Me: "I've been getting better at biking with no hands"
Mum: "That's a handy skill"
Me: "Actually it's a no handy skill"
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I'm not scared by bees, but I am deathly afraid of fake bees like wasps and yellowjackets.
You might say I have a faux-bee-aahhhh!
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︎ Jun 11 2020
I am not that good at drawing....
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Good thing I am not a lefty
I just had to eat with my left hand and it was really hard.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
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︎ Dec 21 2018
People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician.
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︎ Nov 20 2019
I would like to clarify that I am not slutdust
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︎ Feb 14 2020
I went looking for mushrooms, but I am not very good at it
There is no morel to this tale.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Tried this on daddit and it was not well received, got a hard eye roll and a giggle from my daughter, am I doing this right? I need some help with my leeky bowl.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.
Iβve had a Canon printer for years.
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︎ Sep 01 2018
I am looking for cow species which are vulnerable but not endangered yet on conservation hierarchy.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
For the last time, I am not running the water through the Brita again!
I think I've made it perfectly clear.
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︎ Feb 02 2020
A television newslady is interviewing a horse that can tell whether a person is a homosexual or not. "Am I homosexual?" Asked the newslady. "Neigh," said the horse.
The newslady turns to the camera and says, "you heard it folks. 'Straight' from the horses mouth."
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︎ Oct 11 2019
William has me wondering if i am or am not.
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︎ Jan 29 2019
I am not personally a fan
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︎ Jun 30 2018
I am not sure what the first church on Mars would look like.
But the mass would be the same.
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︎ Dec 10 2018
So I am taking this is not good karma.
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Vaccinations may not cause autism, but I am still strongly against them
When I first got vaccinated I couldnβt walk or even talk for a year and a half.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
I am not slurring. I am speaking in cursive.
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︎ May 09 2019
I am a white bear. No I am not.
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︎ Apr 10 2019
I was selected by a prominent judge to dress funny and make strange faces in public. I am not mad, I am justice appointed.
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︎ Jun 14 2019
I dropped my Chinese dumpling on the floor, but I am not mad
You know what they say: You dim sum, you lose some.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
Man: Doctor, I ate one of those βDo not Eatβ silica packets by accident. Am I going to die?
Doctor: Well, everyone will die eventually.
Man: Everyone? Oh God, What have I done?
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︎ Jun 13 2019
My dog's tail fell off and I am not sure why..
Waiting on the vet to give me a de-tailed report.
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︎ Sep 11 2018
I am not allowed anywhere near the Vietnamese restaurant in my town.
They decided to Banh Mi for life.
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︎ Jan 05 2019
I am not qualified to tell dad jokes,
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 13 2019
I am not afraid of death !
I just dont want to be there when it happens.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 16 2019
I am not with alcoholics anonymous
but something synonymous to alcoholic
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︎ Oct 25 2018
Why I am not a baker:
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 18 2018
I am not really a Dad......
So, I guess my Dad jokes are faux pa.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Most are shocked when they find out I am not a very good electrician.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
βDoc, I ate one of those βdo not eatβ silica packets. Am I going to die?β
Doctor: Well, everyone will die eventually.
Man: Everyone? What have I done?
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︎ Feb 20 2019
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