I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money

Very Sketchy People

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omarsrstt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud

For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"

I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural

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πŸ‘€︎ u/proygratoke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"

A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurokami_Yohane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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My neighbor says I’m trespassing. I’m unsure if I am or not.

I’m on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdrusk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.

Your gas is as good as mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I am not a dad, so I can’t tell dad jokes

To do so would be a faux pa...

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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OC - I am not great at imitation in drawing, though
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeeveryoneup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
its not mine but i found this and thought it was good so i am sharing it
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FortraVox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I am not proud of this... okay maybe a little bit
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I am not sure if this goes here
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwgwsdaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Because I am not allowed to post media

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_boy_vasu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I'm not a dad yet, but I'm practicing for when I am (should be in about 20 years)

Me: "I've been getting better at biking with no hands"

Mum: "That's a handy skill"

Me: "Actually it's a no handy skill"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toothpik556
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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I'm not scared by bees, but I am deathly afraid of fake bees like wasps and yellowjackets.

You might say I have a faux-bee-aahhhh!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/erebus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I am not that good at drawing....
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nibba_man69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Good thing I am not a lefty

I just had to eat with my left hand and it was really hard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasMajo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyp433
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician.
πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkseidHS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I would like to clarify that I am not slutdust
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MspKitten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I went looking for mushrooms, but I am not very good at it

There is no morel to this tale.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Tried this on daddit and it was not well received, got a hard eye roll and a giggle from my daughter, am I doing this right? I need some help with my leeky bowl.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theaut0maticman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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I am looking for cow species which are vulnerable but not endangered yet on conservation hierarchy.

I like them medium rare.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loopystring
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
For the last time, I am not running the water through the Brita again!

I think I've made it perfectly clear.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doom-gloom-kaboom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A television newslady is interviewing a horse that can tell whether a person is a homosexual or not. "Am I homosexual?" Asked the newslady. "Neigh," said the horse.

The newslady turns to the camera and says, "you heard it folks. 'Straight' from the horses mouth."

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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William has me wondering if i am or am not.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gboy7373
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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I am not personally a fan
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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I am not sure what the first church on Mars would look like.

But the mass would be the same.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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So I am taking this is not good karma.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mokledfeat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Vaccinations may not cause autism, but I am still strongly against them

When I first got vaccinated I couldn’t walk or even talk for a year and a half.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MistaBaggins07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I am not slurring. I am speaking in cursive.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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I am a white bear. No I am not.

I am a bipolar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I was selected by a prominent judge to dress funny and make strange faces in public. I am not mad, I am justice appointed.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I dropped my Chinese dumpling on the floor, but I am not mad

You know what they say: You dim sum, you lose some.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ETwasMyFriend
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Man: Doctor, I ate one of those β€œDo not Eat” silica packets by accident. Am I going to die?

Doctor: Well, everyone will die eventually.

Man: Everyone? Oh God, What have I done?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog's tail fell off and I am not sure why..

Waiting on the vet to give me a de-tailed report.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I am not allowed anywhere near the Vietnamese restaurant in my town.

They decided to Banh Mi for life.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I am not qualified to tell dad jokes,

I am not apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaroerHaktak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I am not afraid of death !

I just dont want to be there when it happens.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I am not with alcoholics anonymous

but something synonymous to alcoholic

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeeWhatEyeSee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why I am not a baker:

I don't need the dough.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phuntshog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I am not really a Dad......

So, I guess my Dad jokes are faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tetrapsy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Most are shocked when they find out I am not a very good electrician.
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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β€œDoc, I ate one of those β€œdo not eat” silica packets. Am I going to die?”

Doctor: Well, everyone will die eventually.

Man: Everyone? What have I done?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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