Hey dad, what time should I schedule my dentist appointment?
Hey, what do you call an AI fish?
Hey Dad, you said you have something called CDO, but what is that?
Dad: Well the doctor told me I have OCD, but I changed it because it wasn’t in alphabetical order.
“Hey dad, what does being gay mean?”
-It means you are happy.
“So are you gay, Dad?”
-Ofcourse not, I have a wife
Hey, what’s a rulers favorite Mexican food?
A severely frost bitten man walks into a shoe store. The owner immediately flips him off. “Hey,” says the man to the owner, “what was that for?”
“Sorry,” the owner says, “I’m lack-toes intolerant.”
Hey dad! What are you grateful for today?
Cheese...
Why cheese?
grated cheese
my 9 yr old laughed very slow and said very funny
My dad: Hey, what does “I surrender” mean?
Me: I give up.
Dad: Why? The question wasn’t that hard.
Hey admin... what happened to my chiropractic joke?
I posted it about a week back.
"Hey Dad, what rhymes with orange" said my Son..So I pondered this for a while and thought..
Hey, what instrument do dishonest people play?
My daughter last night before bed: Hey dad, if you pour cold water on a hot dog what do you get?
Me: I don’t know what?
Daughter: A chili dog 😆
Not gonna lie this one got me, and after being glued to the news and r/worldnews for the last 6-7 days I needed this.
Hey son, what have you learned today?
- 3 pages worth of dictionary, Dad. But I was too bored, I learned next to nothing.
"Hey friend, wanna see a hanging?" "What?"
"Yeah, I took a nice picture yesterday at work. So nice that I want to hang it."
"Oh. Yeah that sounds-"
"Was a pretty good execution."
Hey, you there, what are you doing with that noose?!
Hey friends! In support of the LGBTQ+ community I wanted to design a punny pride greeting card and I am so happy with how it turned out :D let me know what you think!
Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?”
Hey dad, what type of tea is in your mug?
"Hey dad, what does gay mean?" The boy asked his dad
Hey dad today we learn about eclipses, do you know what they are
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
Kid: “Hey, Dad, what’s this bottle of wine doing in the fridge?”
Dad, hey can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?
Ernie:” Hey bert u know what today is? Today’s your BERTday!!
'Hey, what are you chewing, Dora?'
Son to me: hey daddy! What do you call a bug that's not in your house?
Talking baby names with the girlfriend, "what about Noah for a girl", she said, "Hey, whatever floats your boat", I replied.
I received a few jabs in the ribs for that one.
P.s. We aren't expecting, just being sickly.
My 9 year old daughter just yelled this down from her room. "Hey dad! What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?"
Nothing! They just waved!
Hey dad, what do you think about global climate change?
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Hey what are your plans for Valentine's day? -Us singles be like :
Hey son, your mom is going back to tax accounting and I’m going to open a mortuary, know what we are going to call it?
Hey Dad, what is that black sticky stuff in the small jars called?
I don't know son, but your ma might.
Stolen from: Dad Jokes
Hey, German speakers. What do Germans call Mayor McCheese?
Hey dad, what’s a secret you’ll never tell anyone?
I’d be lying if I told you
A mathematician comes home drunk at 3 AM. His wife: Hey, you promised to be in by 1145. What the hell happened?
Him: No, I told you I’ll be home by a quarter of twelve.
My Wife to Grandma and Child: hey where are you guys going? Child: To the library. Wife: what are you going to get?
Me from the other room: They’re just going to check it out
Me: Hey [friends name] What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
My friend: If you say an addictionary, I’m gonna punch you in the face.
Me: I was gonna say high definition, but yours even better!
What you you call a tree when it says to you, "Hey, you look good today!"?
Hey Mods, what happened to my chiropractor joke?
I posted it about a week back!
“Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
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