A list of puns related to "Hey Trouble"
“Dad, the Earth is 71 percent water, and nearly all of it is uncarbonated.”
(He really made this up. ONE OF US)
An edit for the doubters: He was drinking a Fanta and we were watching Prehistoric Planet together when he thought up the basic idea. I helped him with the punchline, because he was having trouble making it land (he’s 11, and more mechanically-minded than artsy, if you know what I mean, so he needed help on the phrasing).
It’s not a super complicated joke, so of course it’s not new, but hey, he’s 11. Good job, kid.
Luckily, he was soon able to flag down a passing Kerryman driving an empty truck. “Listen mate,” he says, “I’ve got to take these monkeys to the zoo pronto, but I’m stuck here until the AA arrive, any chance you could do me a favour? Here’s £50 for your trouble.”
“No problem,” says the Kerryman, “just load them up and I’ll be away.”
Well, a while later the Dub is just about to drive away, when he spots the same Kerryman driving in the opposite direction still with the monkeys in his truck.
More confused than angry the Dublin fella high tails it and eventually flags the Kerryman down.
“Hey mate, I thought I gave you £50 to take these monkeys to the zoo!” He said
“Sure you did,” said the Kerryman, “But I had a little left over, so now we’re going to the cinema.”
.....when asked his name by the cop filling out the report he replied Shut Up. The frustrated cop asked repeatedly for his name and was met each time with an equally frustrated and louder reply of SHUT UP! The cop got angry and then asked....hey man, are you looking for trouble? The reply back was "Yes! That's the reason I came here....I'm looking for Trouble!!!"
What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.
If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.
Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.
I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.
Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.
I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *
Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.
I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.
Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.
Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?
Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.
Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?
Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.
Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.
Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"
I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.
So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.
When you get an infection, urine trouble.
"Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."
How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."
Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.
Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *
What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *
*My absolut
... keep reading on reddit ➡Me: Hey we should see the new Pirates movie.
My dad: I've heard they have had a lot of trouble with people pirating that movie.
Me: rolls eyes
> "Hey! Urine trouble!" "If you come clean now we may shorten your punishment
> That was a really crappy pun
> I should just flush this joke away
> I bet you're really pissed at me for this, but don't shit on me
>I should cleanse myself of these puns
^Maybe ^I ^should ^stop ^now
A few years ago I was trying to clean up my bike. I had trouble getting some of the nuts loose so I hollered for my dad.
"Hey dad, can you help me get these nuts off?" After an awkward pause my dad looks over and says "Well, that's not something I get asked often."
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