Hesh Rabkin Puns

The Sopranos is a show featuring criminals following a hypocritical synthesis of traditional values. Meanwhile, Tony's daughter, Meadow, represents a brand of liberalism which challenges the bigotry of her parents yet is also perverted by the delusions her family has installed in her (think "poverty of the Mezzogiorno"). Some viewers, typically ones impressed by the machismo of Tony et al, derogatorily refer to Meadow as an SJW.

With this new post under my subspecies, I'd like to represent a challenge to everything I have said herebefore, and claim, that first of all, Meadow is for sure not the biggest social justice warrior in the Sopranos, and that, contrarily, a selection of the wise guys featured in the show are.

Thus, I represent to you, a contest to determine the biggest social justice warrior in the Sopranos. I have carefully hand-picked the following candidates, and will followingly make a case for them.

Herman "Hesh" Rabkin
Main areas of activism: racial justice

• Hesh took a bunch of young talented musicians of color under his wing and provided them record deals, helping them become stars
• Hesh only dates women of color
• Hesh stands in solidarity with the oppressed, including African Americans and Native Americans
• Hesh is a strong proponent of freedom of speech
• Hesh will call out covert anti-Semitism wherever he sees it and won't hesitate to end friendships over it, even with people he's known for years

Pasquale "Patsy" Parisi
Main areas of activism: domestic violence prevention, LGBT rights

• Patsy gave a stern talking to to Gloria about respecting Tony's boundaries, thus preventing any further domestic violence taking place between them, as had historically been the case
• Vito is gay? He could care less, basically
• Patsy promoted healthy male bonding by unashamedly talking about the close relationship he had with his brother Spoons

Carmine Lupertazzi, Sr.
Main areas of activism: mental health

• He showed concern about Tony's mental well-being by asking if therapy was helping his mental illness, and encouraged him by saying there was no stigmata these days about needing psychiatric help
• Carmine once again showed concern for Tony's well-being after he and his wife separated, proclaiming that "this thing of ours" is more than a livelihood - it's a community that offers support when one of them is going through a rough patch
• He showed no interest in taking advantage of prostitutes
• He dearly loved his wife Vi

Vito "The Chalked Cue" Spatafore Sr.

Vito "The Big Poo" Spatafore Jr.

Janice "Under The Boardwalk Blew" Soprano

Phil "The Seat Is Askew" Leotardo

Ginny "The Big Shamu" Sacramoni

Hesh "The Tough Jew" Rabkin

Albert "The Deja-Vu" Barese

Feel free to continue, or not. I'm earning with tree hands here.

Having read a million interviews with the always ornery (but also very insightful) David Chase, and having watched the show a couple of tree dozen times, I realize David Chase was never obsessive over the hierarchy and structure of the DiMeo Family. Having said that, so many mobsters are mentioned (and in some cases included in storylines) throughout the series, you have to wonder if they are just throwaways to beef up the Sopranos Universe or will the have a role in the days when the DiMeo family was running rampant around North Jersey?

Considering a prequel opens the door to build out the family even further, which characters could show up on-screen during the movie?

Confirmed:

• Dickie Moltisanti
• Tony Soprano
• Johnny Boy Soprano
• Junior Soprano
• Aldo "Hollywood Dick" Moltisanti
• Silvio Dante
• Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri
• Sal "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero
• Chicky Sasso
• Beansie Gaeta

Here are my thoughts considering the release of Trailer #2 has got me feeling mad ripe...

Ercole DiMeo: I always felt like they should have had the patriarch appear in some capacity during the original series. I know it wasn't necessary, but it would have been nice. If they decided to leave him out of the prequel, I think it would be a huge miss, especially considering he was boss when the prequel takes place.

Richie Aprile: Since Jackie is confirmed to be in the movie, I have a hard time thinking his big brother won't making an appearance. I know the marketing thus far has been focused on characters that less-obsessive fans will recognize, but Richie was such a beloved character that I assume the toughest guy in Essex County shows up wearing the jaaaaacccckkkket.

Tony Blundetto: considering his character wasn't even mentioned until Season 5 (when he showed up as a major antagonist) but then retroactively painted as Tony's 'brother', the odds of Tony Egg showing up are high.

Ralphie Cifaretto: The only reason Ralphie could show up is because he talks about being part of a "crew" that included Jackie Aprile, Tony, and Silvio (which now makes little sense since the trailers show Silvio to be several years older and already involved in the criminal activities of the DiMeo family).

Feech LaManna: considering he was revered by the younger guys until he decided to go rogue and forget his lines fuck things up, I assume he will also make an appearance.

Raymond Curto: In Season One, Tony mentions that the "Old Man" would have want

Track List:

1. Paulie Walnuts - Mix It With The Relish (Universal Remote Docking Station remix)
2. Big Pussy - She Never Wore Panties - featuring Little Lord Fuck Pants
3. Matthew 'Fanta' Bavilaqua - Mommy
4. Davey Scatino - It's Just A Stutter Step - featuring Meadow Soprano in a new car
5. Bobby Baccalieri - To The Victor - featuring Janice Soprano on the bongos
6. Richie Aprile - I'll Build A Ramp - featuring Janice Soprano on the bongos
7. Ralphie Cifaretto - Klutz - featuring Janice Soprano on the bongos
8. Patsy Paresi - Scraping Your Nipples
9. Junior Soprano - Hold Onto Your Cock When Negotiating With These Desert People - featuring Agent Harris on saxophone
10. Christopher Moltisanti and Adriana La Cerva - I've Got No Spleen, Gene
11. Phil Leotardo - 20 Years (Puerto Rican Whoah)
12. Vito Spatafore - I'm A Captain (Parade Float remix) - featuring Jonny Cakes on backing vocals

All tracks written and produced by Tony Soprano and Herman 'Hesh' Rabkin

Deluxe Edition Bonus Tracks - Four Dollars A Pound, Oh Poor You, Birdfeeder, The Gabagool.

"Jerry Stiller was initially hired to play Tony’s unofficial “consigliere,” Hesh Rabkin. “He wound up backing out at the last minute because he got a commercial right before we started shooting the pilot,” Imperioli said. Jerry Adler went on to play Rabkin."

From new book "Woke Up This Morning" by Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa.

Don't worry no spoilers, but I will say I thought the scene where young phil says "You'll never see me go to prison, especially not for 20 years-you know you have to make grilled cheese on the radiator in there? Fuckin nauseating" to be a little too on the nose. Also I'm not sure who thought having an extended dream sequence where queen latifah plays Hesh Rabkin's subconscious desire for black women in a gospel song made sense for this movie, but on the whole a great film, very allegorical.

Hi all! People seemed to dig the Ralphie piece from my book when I posted it last week, so here's one I wrote on Tony's relationships with Davey, Makazian and Artie. Like the last essay, it's from my book, OFF THE BACK OF A TRUCK: CONTRABAND FOR THE SOPRANOS FAN (Simon & Schuster/Tiller Press).

Sad Sacks, Suckers, and the Squeeze: The Victims of Tony Soprano

There are no crimes without victims. And there are no gangsters without patsies to exploit or indebted civilians to juice, whether for information, favors, or interest on the principal. When Tony Soprano's high-school friend Davey Scatino (Robert Patrick), bankrupt and broken by gambling debts to Tony, whines, “You told me not to get in the game. Why’d you let me do it?” Tony explains, “It’s my nature. The frog and the scorpion, you know?” But Tony’s misappropriating the fable. In the story, the scorpion sacrifices its own life so it can kill the frog. Tony isn’t like the scorpion when he bankrupts Davey and preys on others. He uses his cunning to assess each person’s weaknesses so that he can profit the most with the least amount of guilt and personal risk. He’s a master of transactional and moral arithmetic with an innate ability to size up and squeeze value from people, especially the desperate and the damned. David Chase and his writing team shape these victims as fully-drawn characters to be portrayed by master actors who induce both our disgust and our sympathy. When we see the human source of Tony’s income—how his sausage is made—we understand the cost.

In the very first episode, Chase expresses Tony’s symbiotic relationship to his victims in his brief interaction with Alex Mahaffey (Michael Gaston), an insurance adjuster with gambling debts. Later in Season One we meet corrupt cop Vin Makazian (John Heard) and, in Season Two, the aforementioned Scatino, a sporting-goods store owner, who are pushed to suicide and madness respectively by choices Tony enables. If Tony’s a kind of vampire who feeds off these and other victims, then his childhood friend, the chef Artie Bucco (John Ventimiglia), is in his thrall; Artie idolizes Tony, even as the Mob boss feeds from his veins (or at least his restaurant). Tony’s practice certainly runs in the family blood—just watch any scene with his sister Janice (Aida Turturro)—but it’s also learned by others through the behavior he models, as we see when Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) applies strong-arm tactics on Robert Wegler (David Strathairn) to

Now, I know what you're thinking - only a stunad of the highest order could claim something like this. But hear me out here.

First of all, Tracee was literally a child abuser. Burning her kid with cigarettes? You shouldn't miss that just because she's cute. We don't know exactly how old her child was, but what we know from studies about early experiences between a child and their caregiver is, the person supposed to take care of the child inflicting pain upon them will have long-term consequences for the child's sense of security in relationships. And we're talking things happening to babies less than a year old. Even though she supposedly got help for her issue, she may well have doomed her child to a lifetime of mental health issues. And how messed up does one have to be to hurt one's own baby like that? Even people considered worst on the show, such as Phil, or Richie, didn't pull off anything quite as grotesque.

Now, one might argue, Tracee herself was abused. And that seems to be true. But does that excuse her behavior? Sure, she had anger issues. But she's not the only one with a messed up childhood. It's heavily implied Ralph was abused as a child. Do we excuse his actions? No. Even though he was doing a lot of coke, which seems to be a more compelling excuse for committing atrocities than anger issues, as coke is an external thing and anger is an internal thing. And, sure enough, when Ralph cut back from a lot of coke to some coke, he didn't kill any more people. He even allowed a woman to push him down the stairs without suffering repercussions.

Meanwhile, Tracee kept displaying anger issues, as she physically assaulted Ralphie after he'd essentially called her a fellatio performing prostitute. Now sure, he may have put it a bit more bluntly than that, but he was still essentially making a factual statement. And even after she assaulted him, which could have resulted in him getting scratch marks on his face, he showed remarkable restraint by only hitting her back once. It was only after she triggered a trauma response in Ralph, by questioning his masculinity (and it wasn't the first time she'd done it), that she met her demise. To be clear, I am not excusing Ralphie's actions, he was still out of line and should have paid Silvio the three grand she owed him.

The Silvio thing raised another issue - she was a bad employee. She missed three days of work, supposedly because she was sick but without informing her employer. She also didn't look s

The amount of fat people in the Sopranos is equal to th amount of bald people in Breaking Bad

1.Ginny Sack

2.Bobby Baccala (with the fat suit,i know)

3.Vito Spatafore (before his diet)

4.Tony Soprano (late seasons)

5.Jimmy Altieri

6.Fat Dom Gamielo

7.Dante "Buddha" Greco

8.Pussy Bonpensiero

9.Vito Spatafore (after his diet)

10.Teddy Spirodakis

11.Coco Cogliano

12.Agent Skip Lipari

13.John Ciarcia

14.Georgie

15.Bryan Spatafore

16.Janice

17.Doc Santoro

18.Silvio (late seasons)

19.Hesh Rabkin

20.Feech La Manna

HESH RABKIN: I always thought there was some way to divert frequent flier mileage on a grand scale. SILVIO DANTE: To do that, you gotta break into the airline’s main computer. PAULIE GUALTIERE: What do they call it, cracking? TONY SOPRANO: Hacking. PAULIE GUALTIERE: Shelley Hack. Remember her? Ohh! SILVIO DANTE: Yeah. BIG PUSSY: Those were the days, man. SILVIO DANTE: She was a good actress. BIG PUSSY: Yeah, Shelley Hack.

Coupla three candidates are:

Tony Soprano, Furio Giunta, Johnny Sacrimoni, Carmine Luppertazi Senior, Carmine Luppertazi Junior, Corrado Soprano, Hesh Rabkin, Silvio Dante, Patsy Parisi, Livia Soprano

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

An excerpt from the book of the same title, in stores 1 April 2088 Soundtrack

My name is Hyman Greenfield, well at least legally. My first legal, recorded name is Hank Givens. You might wonder why I took that name, and why I model myself after the Jewish gangsters of the 20th century. When I was in middle school, the only family I had was the AI in my beat-up '48 Hyundai Bee TCV, and the only place I called home after school was in their back seat. Mr. Fernandez, my music teacher, was a big fan of old mob movies and played them for our voice class. Ostensibly, it was to teach us the same vocal harmony principles that were developed by the oldies doo-wop groups from mafia movies into the next century of boy bands, girl groups, and a cappella, but I think he was just into gangland history. So I spent a lot of time looking into the real story of the international underworld, and one group stuck out to me as being the perfect gangsters to model myself after. They were well-dressed, generally stuck to white-collar activity, and built businesses and cities that stand to this day.

Some called them the Kosher Nostra. Meyer Lansky, Lefty Rosenthal, Mickey Cohen, Bugsy Siegel. Or their fictional counterparts: Moe Greene, Hyman Roth, Meyer Wolfsheim, Morrie Kessler, Hesh Rabkin.

Although I'm not of primarily Jewish descent (mostly British and Pakistani with a little bit of Norse and a titch of Ashkenazi), I did convert on my 18th birthday.

The world I grew up in was one controlled by massive corporations and organized racists, and in order to fight back against the crony capitalists and the skinheads I chose to follow the path blazed by these men. I'm a thief, I'll admit it. But everything that I steal is itself stolen via wage theft, tax loopholes, false advertising, and regulatory capture (I'm not good at math, but my accountant assures me that I steal much less than Amazon or Google), and 50% of what I steal goes back to the community. So I figure I'm doing humanity a favor and helping turn back the tide of cyberpunk, one forgery or act of blackmail at a time. And I get to live in a fine Tudor-style home with my lovely wife (a former model from either the Fiji Islands, Guam, or Mindanao depending on when you ask her), my three children Meyer, Morris, and Lois, and of course my ol

My favorite period of the DiMeo crime family history (that isn't depicted in the show) is the early '80s leading up to the oft-mentioned "unrest of '83". At that point, indictments were handed down and many made members were incarcerated—there was probably some deaths, too, as this was a period of upheaval and power-struggle.

I'm trying to piece together a structure of the family at that point, which was probably when it was at its peak in power and influence. These names should also be arranged into specific crews (Soprano, Aprile, La Manna, etc.) but it's hard to discern who was in which crew, and which members were official capos at the time, so I'll skip that. This is my picture for the DiMeo family circa 1982:

Boss: Ercole "Eckley" DiMeo, a.k.a "Old Man"

Underboss: Joseph "Beppy" Sasso

Consigliere: Unknown

Caporegime:

• Raymond “Buffalo Ray” Curto
• Michele "Feech" La Manna
• Corrado “Junior” Soprano, Jr.
• Giovanni "Johnny Boy" Soprano

Soldati:

• Jerry "Fat Jerry" Anastasia
• Augusto "Little Auggie" Aprile
• Giacomo "Jackie" Aprile, Sr.
• Richard "Richie" Aprile
• Robert “The Terminator” Baccalieri, Sr.
• Patrizio “Uncle Pat” Blundetto (retired)
• Joey Cippolini
• Silvio "Sil" Dante
• Rocco DiMeo (possibly driven from Essex County by Manson Lamps before this time)
• Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gaultieri
• Carlo Gervasi
• Murf Lupo
• "Little Pussy" Malanga
• Romeo Martin
• Richard "Dickie" Moltisanti
• Philip "Philly" Parisi
• Pasquale “Patsy" Parisi
• Giuseppe "Beppy" Scerbo
• Chucky Signore
• Anthony Soprano

Associates (Not yet made/uncertain if made)

• James "Jimmy" Altieri
• Robert “Baccala” Baccalieri, Jr.
• Lorenzo "Larry Boy" Barese
• Anthony “Tony B” Blundetto
• Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero
• Gigi Cestone
• Ralph “Ralphie” Cifaretto
• Michael “Mikey Grab Bag” Palmice

Non-member Associates

• Peter "Beansie" Gaeta (drug dealer)
• Herman "Hesh" Rabkin (record producer, shylock and advisor to Johnny Boy Soprano)

I've pieced this together between on-screen mentions, wiki entries and the book The Sopranos: A Family History, but I'd appreciate if anyone could help me correct missing or inaccurate information.

Edit: Updated based on some replies.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.