Great Feast Puns

After my first serving, I was still hungry so I asked for 'more cow Belle.'

They are quickly captured and a great feast is prepared. The first course is the all time medals leader and the chief says “Oh, Alyson Felix, so well seasoned.” The second course follows with the 400 hurdles world record holder and the chief says “Sydney McLaughlin, delicious!” But when the 800 meter champion is served for the third course, the chief says “Oh no, thank you. I’m stuffed. I couldn’t possibly eat Athing Mu.”

The farmer was devastated, and in his depression all but neglected the farm, barely able to bring himself to grow and can legumes.

One day as he was aimlessly wandering the road near his fields, hungry and despondent, he came across a deer carcass, freshly hit by a car. The farmer was excited that his luck was changing, since this meant fresh(ish) meat in the first time in months. He shooed the magpies and crows away and began harvesting the deer.

Almost as soon as he had finished, there was a knock at the door. To the farmer's great surprise, his son had returned home. Though he looked quite the worse for wear, the son looked around at the farm with sadness, perhaps realizing the emotional damage he had caused.

The farmer was besides himself with joy, and told his son that tonight he would cook a great feast. The son, surprised, looked around at the fallow fields and run down house and asked, "Dad, do you have much food? What could we possibly eat for this celebratory feast."

The farmer, tears of joy in his eyes and emotion in his voice said:

"Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done"