Too many quack-heads in the world already
Because it is 2 child dish.
I’m quitting cold turkey.
Cold turkey.
Cousin: This pie is different from last year's.
Me: Well it's a lot newer
Talking about a cousin-in-laws new boyfriend
> He's getting a Ph.D. in Statistics, so he's pretty smart
Me: Would you say that he is significantly smart?
Someone wanted the stuffing:
> Did you know that when it isn't in the turkey it isn't called stuffing, but it's actually called dressing??
Me: Just don't put it on your salad
The parent's and my wife groaned but the little kids thought it was funny.
I really need to borrow some chairs from you.
I'm looking any one-liner holiday themed puns.
Here are some I have come up with: 'Irish I was your agent' ( for St. Paddy's Day ), 'Never forget these gourd times' ( for Thanksgiving ), ' Happy Challah Days' ( Shabbat ), 'I love you a latka' ( Hanukkah ), 'Fo-Gelt About it' ( Hanukkah ), 'We're all rebels without a Claus' ( Christmas ), 'Chemes-tree is important' ( Christmas ), 'Does my hare look good' ( Easter )...
I have a newsletter I send and want to include some good puns / make a meme for upcoming holidays.
So it was my first time meeting my girlfriend's family and it was a holiday so I had assumed it would go like how it is in the movies, the guy being constantly criticized by the girl's family and told he's not good enough but I must have lucked out as they absolutely loved me, after we had the traditional thanksgiving meal at around 4, her family and I went to the porch to drink and joke around. On the way out to the porch, buzzed me thought it would be hilarious to take someone's ukelele with me and hide it on the porch, I promised myself that before the day is over, I'd use that ukelele as a joke piece and get everyone to love me even more. So the evening is going great, everyone's drunk, laughing, telling funny family stories when all of a sudden, I stand up, get everyone's attention and I grab the ukelele, picked it up and said
"I like to play a little guitar"
The hysterical, drunken laughs of everyone on the porch was the highlight of the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.
and noticed they were setting out the turkeys for thanksgiving. I decided to go ahead and buy mine for this year so I started digging around for the largest one they had looking for a good 20+ pounder but couldn’t find anything over 17 lbs. I turned to the stock boy and asked,
“Do these get any bigger?”
He answered with
“Well seein as they’re dead I reckon they’ve stopped groin.”
The scene: Day after Thanksgiving, been browsing black friday deals on my phone all day.
Me: Hey, that's cool, they've got Updoc on sale for 15 bucks.
Her: Updoc? What's Updoc?
Me: Not much, what's up with you?
Can't believe I actually pulled it off, she wouldn't speak to me for a good half-hour after that.
My husband, mother-in-law and I are in Panama for thanksgiving. We were hanging out by the pool talking about the weather back home vs the weather here in Central America.
Then my husband said "do you know what South American country gets pretty cold?"
Mother-In-law: "Argentina?"
Me: "I believe Brazil gets kind of cold in some parts"
Husband: "No, Chilè!!"
Me: "oh goodness"
