A list of puns related to "Good Golfing"
It was a foursome... Al, Jerry and Gerry. To ease confusion, we just call the (G)Jerryβs by the first letter of their name... so Jay and Gee.
Anyways, we were playing the other day and I could tell that someone was wearing cologne. Why on a golf course? I donβt know.
Now Iβm kinda sensitive to odors and aromas and, sure enough, after a few holes, my eyes start to water and I start to sneeze.
I turn to Jay and say βI think Iβm allergic to someoneβs cologneβ
Jay responds, βHmmm, Iβm not wearing cologne, it must be Al or Geeβsβ
I just tell people I am subpar.
I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.
I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.
Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."
He just smiled...
...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.
They canβt drive
I've been told I'm sub-par.
I always say "sieze the carp" because I'm hilarious. Sent my mom the following text, letting her know I was out because it was such a nice day:
>Me: Playing disc golf.
>Mom: :). K
>Me: Figured I'd size the carp while I could.
>Mom: That's a Diem good idea
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
We were driving down the road and I look out my window to see a "Golf & Guns" store connected to a gas station (good ole' Tennessee...). I point out how ridiculous that is to my dad.
He turns to me and says, "Hey, at least you'll be shooting birdies all day!"
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