However the first person who tried it is still crying endless tiers!
Man....we were wild .
Cuz they always be bacon
Turns out I can’t focus!
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Sharon is Karen
The tips were huge
What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!
I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.
It's simple meth.
It goes back four seconds.
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
In a dad-a--base
Sign language
It's a gag reflex
How dairy
But I laugh more.
The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”
I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc
...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
The retail shop
I don't have any original material at the moment, but the obligations are still there. So I present the following:
How do you get a baby satellite to sleep? You rocket!
Why was Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
Eggs don't tell jokes because they always crack up.
What's a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he still won't come
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
Assymmetrical
She still isn't talking to me.
Dad: what should I say instead bull-
Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.
Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature...
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
They have troubleshooting.
Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!
You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.
He won’t go near the crypt tonight.
He doesn't like them either 😔
It could be a lifesaver.
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
But don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
We’re neighbors now.
You boil the hell out of it.
At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...£380."
"I refuse to pay," I told him.
"You have to," he insisted.
"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."
So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me bloody, bruised and beaten.
He said, "£380. Cough it up."
"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."
I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping...
...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...
