A list of puns related to "G Host"
A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back.
The host asks him, "And what are you?" The man says, “I’m a snail." The host says, "And who's that on your back?" And the man says, "That's Michelle!"
The other day, we took our kids (2 and 5) on a hay ride at a seasonal event hosted by a local farm.
When the hayride ended and we were getting off, the couple in front of us pointed out that a nearby goat was eating grass with it's head poked though a small hole in the fence. To my comment "See, the grass really is greener on the other side".
I turned and there was no reaction by my family, or the couple, but I was overjoyed at my joke. Looks like I'll have to get used to this reaction.
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After checking that everything was included, turned to the host and told him that if I hadn't checked, my wife would have grilled me when I got home.
Hi punsters! My wife and I would like to request your help for naming the following party food items with Hawaiian puns. We are hosting a Hawaiian themed baby shower for my wife. The plan is to put tags next to each item.
Ex: Poke bowls: Gotta catch ’em all
Cheese Dips
Salsa Dips
Tortilla Chips
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Nutter Butter Cookies
Samosas
Cake Pops (shaped like coconuts)
Cup Cakes
Coconut Trifles
Edible Arrangements (Cut up fruit)
Thank you!
Host: What are you?
Me: I'm a harp.
Host: You're costume's a bit too small to be a harp.
Me: Are you calling me a Lyre?
He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.
"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.
"Oh, This is Michelle"
This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts
...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
“Thank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”
Inside jokes.
(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)
It was the Father, the Son, and the Goalie host.
So we had this issue yesterday where secure shell commands were failing from our newly enabled backup system to a downstream application.
I logged in manually using the correct credentials to confirm the keys were fine, but I noticed it was the first time in known hosts, so i typed “yes” to put the entry in and figured that would fix it.
When the problem came back today, I was surprised at first, but then it hit me...
Same ssh -t different server...
The host says, “What are you dressed as?” I tell him, “I’m a harp.” He says, “But your costume is to small to be a harp.” I was incredibly offended, and tell him, “Are you calling me a lyre?!”
Guest: No thanks, I’m allergic to nuts.
Host: Which ones?
Guest: cah... cah... CA-SHEWS!!!
It was a no host bar.
Being a wealthy celebrity, he'd volunteered to hold the proceedings at his home. The spread was excellent and Pat's father drew him aside as things were winding down.
"I have a feeling your team is going to do great this year!"
"Why's that Dad?"
"I feel like God can't help but root for a man who's a father, a son and a goalie-host."
A HOST of reasons.
It turns a Host into a Ghost
The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:
Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.
The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.
Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.
The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.
Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.
The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.
Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.
Just don't try to start something....
'Punnit' is hosted by myself and played over three rounds. The first two rounds consist of one category (say, Musical Genres & Ailments), with each contestant going in turn and giving their best 5 entries. Such as, HIVy Metal, Honky Tonksillitis, Indiegestion etc.
These two categories are known about a week or so prior so everyone can bring their best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) but the third round is entirely on the spot, with the entrants shouting out whatever they can think of for a category. One of the recent being American Presidents & American States, with OklaBama winning that one.
It's all very much in the early stages but I would appreciate both feedback on the format and people getting in touch if they wanna duke it out.
Here are the episodes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKJOzYgG9MW7CQHAZQahiqw/videos
Follow us too @thepunpodcast
Host dips her chip into a bowl of taco dip, breaks chip, new person arrives at the front door, host gives up and walks away with chip stuck in dip.
Person next to me: "Wow, she just left it in there."
Me: "Yeah, she abandoned chip..."
Wife just groans and walks away.
"What brings you here?" asked the host on my first day.
I said, "My legs."
In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.
...the host said where's your costume? The guy said I'm wearing a costume - I'm a snail. The host said you're a snail? The guy said yes, a snail, and pointed to his girlfriend and said this is Michelle.
What do you call a show hosted by a vegetable?
The Okra Winfrey show!
My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.
2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.
Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)
Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.
During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.
Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.
Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner are already spoken for, but Thanksgiving hasn't been discussed yet. Thanksgiving is usually at my father-in-law's, but my stepmother-in-law has previously hinted that she might not want to host anymore.
Wife: "I talked to [stepmother-in-law] today, and she didn't say 'boo' about Thanksgiving."
Me: "Did she say 'gobble gobble'?"
Atmosphere was terrible and the HOST was so rude
But when the guests arrived the hosts took the alcohol and divided it among all the guests.
“What type of party is this!?” exclaimed a guest.
One of the hosts smiled and replied, “A communist party.”
I hear he likes to reap hosts.
My parents are preparing for a dinner party they are hosting.
Dad: We probably shouldn't put the glasses out just yet so the cats don't jump on the table and get hair in them.
Mom: Lets just turn them upside down.
Dad: They are cats honey, they will just get right back on their feet.
I think the earlier challenges in comprehensive diagnosis came from the difficulty in getting results from patients. BMI is so easy it's automatic.
Meanwhile, getting body fat percentage required calipers or an intensive water displacement test. The distribution of body fat is never concrete; when does back fat stop and butt fat begin? Then, negative physiological effects of these two is the third indicator. Those need a host of diagnoses.
We are moving to a time when getting those figures has never been easier and thus could have never before been done on a large scale.
...but still, there was the fodder, the son and the goalie host.
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It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
Host: what are you?
Me: I'm a harp.
Host: Your costumes too small to be a harp.
Me: are you calling me a lyre!?
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
Host: What are you? Me: A harp. Host: Your costume is too small for a harp. Me: Are you calling me a lyre!?
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