Free Cooling Puns

A while ago, my daughter told me she was into fan fiction. I told her I used to be as well, but I changed to air conditioner fiction... because it was cooler.

She was not amused.

I have now created a subreddit called r/AirConditionerFiction

If you have the time and the desire, drop by and leave a short work of fiction regarding air conditioning. If this is successful, I will give my daughter a link and wait to see her facial expression. I will also prepare for being put in a less-then-stellar retirement home.

Me: Cool, now you have a lot of free time on your hands

Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.

Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.

What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because it’s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds it’s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I don’t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasn’t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, I’ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if you’re traveling with another couple, I’m sure they’ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.

The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesn’t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p

Went and got some food yesterday and happened to have a coupon for a free extra value meal, but the cashier needed a manager's code. It took like 3 or 4 minutes for her to come up. After she typed in the code she apologized, explaining that she was in the walk-in freezer.

As she walked away I raised my voice loud enough so she could hear me and said, "Thanks for doing that, you seem really cool."

She actually turned around and gave me a little scowly smile like, "that's not funny wait why am I smiling."

Me: Yeah i went to a holiday work party last night, they were giving out door prizes.

Dad: oh cool so you got a free door?

I didn't even repsond.