Fortunella Puns

I guess the concept didn't work

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

I started growing about 3 years ago and have 9 varieties at the moment. Here’s my humble opinion about the most and least impressive citrus from my limited experience

Least impressive:

• Meyer lemon: I don’t get it, maybe I haven’t been caring for it the right way. I’ve heard of great blooms but it’s so so compared to other breeds, the leaves are big and turn yellow rather easily, tree shape doesn’t look very attractive overall. Fruits don’t taste good either, not fully sour like a lemon or sweet like an orange, just weird.

Most impressive:

• Chinotto: Beautiful fragrant and glossy green leaves year round, attractive tree shape, the blooms of chinotto have the most amazing fragrance I’ve experienced in my life, fruits are very attractive although I heard that they are not very edible. Great tree shape and slow growing so it retains shape well and don’t take much space.

• Calamondin: Really a cheap and cheerful version for starter and not fussy even with less light indoor. Fruits are amazing to make into seafood dips, drinks, cough syrups etc. They also hangs on the tree for a year looking gorgeous. Both tree shape and leaves look great year round. The fruits in mine have been on the tree for 12 months now and they keep on giving.

• Thai lime: I have a tiny tree with no flower nor fruit yet but the leaves smell like heaven, the tiny plant has been standing in my kitchen for 2 years and it had already earned its worth back in kaffir lime leave cost. Great for tom yum soup, curries, chicken soup, dips. Low maintenance and beautiful year round with gloss green leaves. Tree shape is a bit funny due to its habit of growing in all directions but I don’t mind much.

• Yuzu: Beautiful tree that stand UK winter outdoor and so low maintenance. Fragrant leaves, beautiful yellow fruits. I can’t comment about flowers because I only had 3 last year and the tree stood outdoor. Great tree shape.

So so, might get better as time passes:

• Four seasons lemon: Nice tree, gives fruit frequently and fragrant flowers. That said, I don’t like the shape of the tree and how big and not glossy” the leaves are, fruits are also easily available from the supermarket. Still nice to own.

• Fortunella Kumquat: I love its fruits that’s why I bought it. It does need a bit more care than my lazy self has been giving it though. I guess with the right care (more frequent fertilizing), it’d be great. Mine skipped fruit last season and only carrying about 10 this season. Not its fault t

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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