What is a football fans favourite part of the body

Arse’n’all

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 24 2022
🚨︎ report
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?

The Green Bay Picards.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Watching football and my sister says: "The fans are never happy..."

Dad: "Yeah, I'd rather be a box than a ceiling."

Me: ???

Dad: "A fan. At least box fans get moved around."

Me: "…Dad…"

👍︎ 4
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?

Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 11 2022
🚨︎ report
How can you tell that Jabba the Hut is football fan?

He named his triplets Hut 1, Hut 2, Hut 3

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/TRAKRACER
📅︎ Jun 27 2022
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➡

show more
👍︎ 3k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Bugasum
📅︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s a football fan’s favorite food for the big game?

Cup of soup or bowl

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the security guard dog say to the drunk fan at the football stadium?

“Sir, if you want to get ruff, we can take this to the barking lot.”

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My Pop (a Patriot fan), just sent this opera meets football rimshot

Have you heard about the new opera that Johann Strauss wrote, it is called

Die Flederballs

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Two interesting facts about the actor Yul Brynner
  1. He was a lifelong fan of Liverpool football club
  2. He refused to ever wear aftershave

That’s right; Yul never wore cologne

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/weirds0up
📅︎ Dec 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A joke my dad made this weekend at the Alabama/Tennessee football game...

We decided to visit the Paul. W Bryant Museum before the game. The museum is essentially just a building full of the history of Alabama college football including National Championship trophies and all that. I happened to notice that there were lots of Tennessee fans walking around the museum as well which seemed a bit odd to me.

Me: Dad, why are there so many Tennessee fans walking around in here? It seems strange.

Dad: Well son, they want to see what a trophy looks like.

👍︎ 33
💬︎
👤︎ u/GoTeamJosh
📅︎ Oct 28 2013
🚨︎ report
The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

show more
👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
I swear i saw a football on a nintendo

Yeah, it was Thierry on wii (only football fans get it)

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?

A messi room.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/LateV_28
📅︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.