Cake day original joke! Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?

Because they taste funny!

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Joke attempt from my daughter: what do you call an Aquarium that hurts fish?

An Owquarium!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skilldan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I wish I knew some more fish jokes.

The ones I know are too crappie.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukaseder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Here’s a Spanish joke: Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?

They call it a pez dispenser

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GDGameplayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I can tell you a joke about a fish if you want

... just let minnow.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freebird37179
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been trying to write jokes about small fish

If you hear any, would you let minnow?

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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I was going to make a fish joke here...

But I don't think it's the right plaice to. I feel like I'll just flounder. I'm a dab hand with bad puns, though I'm probably gonna look like a right bass. I trout this'll be very popular. I mean, sal-mon, it's pretty bad. I think I need to tuna bit of it. I should ask my friend Hali-but she's probably busy. So no dice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I'd tell a joke about herbs or fish

but this isn't the thyme or the plaice

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiggerNave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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What kind of jokes do Cray fish tell their kids ?

Crawdad jokes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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If you think of a good fish joke

Let minow

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyBunnyEmoji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm looking for some good fish jokes

If you know any...

Let minnow

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marocu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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Wanna hear a fish joke?

I’d tell you one but it’s kinda crappie.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I had this great fish joke...

but I can't quite plaice it

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haywire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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My dad and steamed fish (not really a dad joke; just my dad's thing)

Chinese dude here.

Every time we have dinner with extended family, we'll have a whole steamed fish as one of the courses.

My dad will usually be the person to cut up and distribute the fish among the family.

Every time he does that, he'll use the spoon and fork to make the fish mouth "thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before cutting up the fish followed by this shit-eating grin around the table. No one above the age of 14 laughs.

The younger cousins find this funny and that's probably why my dad keeps doing it every freaking time.

Just my dad's thing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MechBear
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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My dad tells a fish joke.

So my brother purchased a Betta fish yeaterday.

Mom: "How's your new fish?" Dad: "I hope it's betta than yesterday." "Hueehh hueehh hueehh"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCHMAPaFOODLES
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo

It was great. She’s a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo…”

β€œIt’s to look at.”

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil

πŸ‘︎ 517
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..

You keeled my father. Prepare two die.

*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?

^(What a freaking professional)

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/calvinweight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.

I was like well damn.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Branith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I wanted to make a fishing joke.

But none of them were reel-ly good.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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2 fish are in a tank

One says to the other. How do we drive this thing

πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthchimchar64
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees

Sycamore

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The best fishing jokes

Start with a good hook.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheyren
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules

Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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My dad's fishing jokes are appalling.

I was telling my dad about my JAWS essay that is due in a couple of days and this is the conversation that followed.

Me: I'm writing out my JAWS essay.

Dad: Ok sounds a bit fishy.

Me:That's a terrible joke.

Dad: Hook line and sinker

ME: Stahp. I can't handle the dad jokes anymore.

Dad: Holy mackerel he's growing up

Me: You seriously can't make anymore up.

Dad: I'm having a whale of a time.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yes

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dropboy6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Why are fish easy to weigh?

They have their own scales!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ct2k7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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My dads joke on going fishing in Alaska this summer.

We're going just for the Halibut!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitchec90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight.

Sigh...

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aRVAthrowaway
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do u call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

irrelephant ...,,,,That was the most stupidest joke ,sorry

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purplejaffacake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Ice Fishing Dad Joke

I'm chatting with my girlfriend's dad about his recent ice fishing trip when he pulls out his phone and shows me a picture of his ice fishing spot.

It is just a picture of the lake-ice with a black X spray painted onto it.

I look at him, confused at first but then I realized he was kidding with me.

I tell him that he is going to have a hard time finding it next year.

He responds "I know the ice is going to melt, that's why I took a picture"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twooof
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my dad while fishing.

Dad "I got a toad fish! This one is a lot smaller than the one you got, maybe it's a baby."

Me "They call them tadpole fish."

Dad "Ughhh"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluecrabby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Fishing joke

Every time my dad bated my rod as a kid he would ask just before I walked away "got any sevens?" I would reply "no" and he'd say "go fish."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave_gropperfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad's fishing joke on Facebook this morning

Dad's friend commented on our album of fishing pictures

Friend: "So you went fishing, did you have worms?"

Dad: "Yeah but I went anyway."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/workhaha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2014
🚨︎ report
If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go?

Trouter space

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnb1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I got the words β€œjacuzzi” and β€œyakuza” confused.

Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?

You stop pretending.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehornyghost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a tuna, a piano and a glue stick?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 803
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddycrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting rich by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A blind person was eating seafood

It didn’t help.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nom_nom44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't trust the sea

it looks fishy

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arnlaugur1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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