There was a fight in the fish and chip shop

The fish got battered

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hideandsheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...

He says to the bloke behind the counter,

โ€œDo you do fishcakes?โ€

The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.

โ€œYeah mate.โ€

Customer points to the cod under his arm.

โ€œBetter make him one then mate, itโ€™s his birthday.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cromantica
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My local fish and chip shop
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HamLamb
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Name idea for a fish and chip shop?

We found love in a hopeless plaice.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Belcherlot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Dadjoked my Dad Today

So my dad and I were walking down the waterfront after getting fish and chips, and we walked past an antique shop. We hadn't been to this area in a while.

Dad: It's been ages since I've been in there.

Me: Well they don't have anything new.

Needless to say he had a chuckle.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrRandomnez
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2014
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Funny name for a shop selling Nazi memorabilia?

I've seen a fish and chip shop called Fishcoteque and a kebab shop called Abrakebabra. But what would be a good name for a Nazi memorabilia/antique shop?

Suggestions gratefully received!

(Equiry purely out of interest, no plans on opening one!)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/frood77
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop

The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AmazingAlasdair
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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The fish and chip shop: โ€œSorry sir weโ€™re all out of fish.โ€

Me: โ€œI knew it, there is no cod!โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jlionbad
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Apparently someone got battered

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fatjesus10
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop

Three fish got battered

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/0LORD-VADER0
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2018
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