Fear Lords Puns

A caretaker at Beethoven's grave was busy trimming around the headstone when he heard a faint noise coming from the grave. He put his ear to the ground and, sure enough, he distinctly heard something

He called over his boss to come listen and find out if he heard the same thing. His boss heard something too, but he couldn't quite make it out

Fearing the supernatural, they called the local priest. The priest knelt down and put his ear to the ground as well. "Yes. I hear it," he said. "I think it's Beethoven's 9th symphony"

The priest called on Sister Mary Francis, because she was quite the Beethoven fan, always listening to his music on her headphones. She confirmed:

"Yes, it is the 9th symphony that you hear. Wait a minute. Now I hear the 8th symphony. And now the 7th!"

The priest's face went stark white as he exclaimed, "Oh, Lord. Beethoven is decomposing!"

A church is cleaning up after a service, and they hear a noise in the back. They go to investigate, and they find a bear.

"Have no fear, I will not harm you."

"How can we tell?"

"I was just here to say a prayer."

"Go on."

"Dear lord, thank you for this food."