I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn't say anything when I got paid too much.

I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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What's E.T. short for?

He's got little legs.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddyNK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2022
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What’s ET short for?

he’s got small legs

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katiejacksons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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A story from starbucks

I used to work at a starbucks with my best bud to earn some extra cash after school. Every day an hour or so before closing without fail this older indian man would come in and order two large coffees.

We started to talk with the guy since there weren't many other people in the shop and he told us is name was Haind Sahit and that he was a night worker which is why he drank the coffee. After a while, we would just have the coffee ready for him as soon as he came in the door.

One evening my friend went out back to pick some supplies for refill and had to get something from the top shelf, being a short guy he grabbed an old ladder and started climbing but one of the steps broke and he fell and hit his head pretty hard.

He was rushed to the hospital and woke up a couple days later with no major damages but with a light case of amnesia.

Once he got back on his legs he started working at the starbucks again and as soon as Haind heard, he came back to see how my friend was and stepped up to the desk to greet him. Sadly my friend couldn't remember him at all and just asked what he would like to order. Haind turned around with a tear in his eyes and said "You know, you should really have checked that ladder before you used it".

There was a glimmer in my friends eye and he immediatly started preparing two large coffees. As Haind saw he started smiling and crying and came around the desk to give my friend a hug. He asked my friend "What happened, how did you remember?" and my friend answered "Haind Sahit is always venti venti".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuvyHotnogger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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A Volley of Knitting Puns

My wife was teaching her best friend how to knit. She was doing quite well but for some extra encouragement I said:

"The basics are simple enough. It's when you get into the knitty gritty that things start to unravel.

Wife and friend shake their heads, so I say "Sorry, I didn't mean for my purls of wisdom to needle you."

More groans...

"Still," I said, "at least I kept it short and sweet. I mean, I could've spun you a proper yarn."

Wife to friend: "Right, pass me that soddin' knitting needle...!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/32768Colours
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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What's E.T. short for?

He's only got little legs

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2021
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What's E.T. short for?

He's got little legs.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmartyhat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2021
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What is E.T. short for?

Cause he has little legs!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yipyopyupyap
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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