If the tinfoil hat crowd secretly runs everything, would that make them
I've always been told in life to give everything 100%
I'm a bit scared for my blood donation this afternoon though.
Don't believe everything you see
What's the best gift for the person that has everything?
In the beginning, God created everything and it was exhausting.
So He created 24 hours and decided to call it a day.
If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything
Stamps: Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators: Hearty Starty
Bees: Fuzzy Buzzy
Pregnancy Test: Maybe Baby
Bra: Breastie Nestie
Fork: Stabby Grabby
Socks: Feetie Heatie
Why did the poor man sell everything but his yeast?
He needed to raise some dough.
I don't trust atoms... THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING!
The Germans have a word for everything.
Laughs at everything, worships the very concept of burgers and novelty ice cream...
Did you hear about the baby that gave everything for his country?
He paid the ultimate Fisher Price
I feel like this girl craps on everything I do...
I hate changing her litter every day!
My Uncle’s a lion tamer, when he went bankrupt they took nearly everything,
but at least he’s still got his pride
Rabbits don’t know everything there is to know about math
But they are really good at multiplying.
What nationality takes everything to the third power?
There's a lesser known King in Greek mythology that was cursed by the gods. Everything he contacted with his hands shrunk in size.
Ghosts are always willing to tell you everything.
Because of their transparency.
I hate british people who think they can do everything by themselves.
This morning I went to a bagel shop, and they were out of everything.
So I bought a poppyseed instead.
I came home to find all the windows wide open and everything had been taken.
Next year I'll be hiding my advent calendar.
I owe everything to subtraction.
It really made a difference in my life.
What do you call an aquatic type Pokémon that makes everything about them?
It turns out that the meaning of life, the universe, and everything is XLII
I've been Roman the world for years in search of this wisdom.
Money isn't everything in life.
But it does keep you in touch with your children.
Villager 1: Flee for your lives! The mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that's destroying everything in its path!
Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.
Everything is under control.
What do you call a mean ADHD kid at school who exaggerates everything they say?
What kind of weiners are always getting in the middle of everything?
While driving down the road, two robbers jumped into my car and stole everything.
They were pirates of the car I be in.
I went to an ice cream parlor that infused everything with THC
It was called Joint Custardy
Blood drives seem to get everything wrong
My family lost everything after they blocked the river and flooded the land.
In which city do they make two of everything?
There was once a knight, who couldn't see, for his face was always covered. Yet he knew everything. They called him....
I took my daughter to the park yesterday. Everything was going fine until we got to one particular ride. First she happy, then she was sad, then she was unbelievably angry...
Those were some crazy mood swings.
I was confused the other day when everything in my living room just started floating to the ceiling..
I guess I just didn't understand the gravity of the situation..
Do you know why everything is shiny in Poland?
Because there's a lot of Polish there..
A constipated man robs a toy store. He steals everything but one teddy bear
Because he is unable to take a pooh
A Buddhist goes to a Pizza Hut and asks "Make me one with everything".
The server takes the money and doesn't give back any change.
"Change comes from within".
he was biting everything but not putin
I tend to always second guess everything I write down.
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