Somebody told me a joke about electricity.

It was shocking!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2020
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I have a joke about electricity

Unfortunately, it’s so bad that it hertz.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dallasboi1992YT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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I told my dad a joke about electricity

He said β€œthat’s so funny it hertz”

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ieatnailswithoutmilk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2017
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I'd tell you a joke about electricity..

But I know all you'd say is watt.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhoTookAllTheNames_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2015
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Electricity joke over dinner

Me, jokingly to my mother, "what did they do to pass the time before television and radio?"

Mother - I don't know, people probably held scrolls up to the candle light because there was no electricity

Dad - That's why they called it the Dark Ages dear.

My father and I were the only ones who appreciated that one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yaminub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2014
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I think joule really likes this joke
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HenkBlok
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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How often do pirate attacks occur?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HaltingHall0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
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I was telling a joke about an electric drill.. but it didn’t make anyone laugh

I think I screwed up the punch line

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ohm_B
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2020
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What does the electrician say when he meditates?

Oooohm

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/w0zzie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Eli_Truax
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2021
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Dad joked my Electrical Engineering TA.

My TA and someone were talking about a bunch of electronics stuff, and then then got to transformers, and I told the TA, "I tried to start studying transformers, and it looked easy at first, but it turns out they're more than meets the eye."

He started to explain why transformers could be difficult and then once he realized the pun his expression changed to sheer disappointment in both me and himself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deathbutton1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2014
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Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen

He was delighted

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2020
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Ohmmmmmm
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hauntedshock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
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Well...
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CapQuarter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2019
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The ultimate Dad Joke - Bulgarian Train Man

This has been my favourite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacberated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I dont get it," says the executioner. "I didnt let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

Edit: Thanks for the Gold stranger! Edit: And Silver!

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πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QuiltedButts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2018
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The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.

They gave me another one. Free of charge.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2019
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With great power comes a huge electricity bill.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sprice-3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2019
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Unexpected Dad joke during basement finishing sales training

Student: "Can you address outlets?" Trainer: (turns chair towards wall) "Hello outlets."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NKHdad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2016
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Laying in a hospital bed when my Dad dropped this one on me...

Just finished getting an electrocardiogram when my dad and I had this conversation.

Dad: "What did they do to you?"

Me: "E-C-G, Electrocardiogram."

Dad: "Isn't that an E-K-G?"

Me: "I don't know, I thought it was an E-C-G."

Dad: "So, if E-C-G and E-K-G are both for electrocardiogram, what the hell is an E-G-G?"

Me: "I have no idea."

Dad: "It's an egg, you idiot."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GQuesnelle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2014
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What do 1,000 people say when they're confused?

Kilowatt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jeearr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2014
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This is a story that ends in my best joke to date.

I'm a nanny, the family I work for typically hang out for 10-30 minutes before the parents leave me and baby alone, just to chat and catch up, as well as to mitigate any potential meltdowns from a sudden leaving.

Anyway, Baby has started walking and is very keen to investigate everything. Yesterday he was headed straight to the electrical outlet. So I said to him, "oh no that's not a toy! Our fingers don't go there,"

Dad says, "baby disagrees"

"That's shocking."

Dad, "That's better than any dad joke I've come up with"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyDogsNameIsToes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2016
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I may be influencing my girlfriend in a fantastic way.

I always tell her the awesome jokes that I find here and other places. She rolls her eyes ninety percent of the time, as one would expect.

Well the other day I was going up an escalator and got zapped by static electricity-

Me: Ouch!

Her: Aww, it must be because you're such an electri-cutie

I was so proud, it nearly brought a tear to my eye.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeerIsGood1894
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2013
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I couldn't believe I rewired a piece of equipment incorrectly...

I was shocked!

So true story, I rewired an electric chain hoist at work today, and I followed the Wire diagram as it was laid out. But when I went to try it, I got a nasty shock. Turns out a customer had tried to rewire it themselves and swapped the ground and the live wire in the controller... mean practical joke? I don't know. But it woke me up!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeerBellies
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2017
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The first of what I'm sure are to be many front-page worthy posts... Such are the jokes of my dad.

Ok so my Dad was helping me move into my new uni accommodation last month and in the process we had to carry a lot of heavy boxes up my rather steep stairs.

Understandably, being a man in his 50's, he was a little bit worn out after lugging several metre-by-metre crates up to my room, generally full of heavy electrical equipment and books. After letting out a deep sigh he exhaled - 'Crikey, this is like the Great Stairs Crisis of 1965!'.

To my knowledge, or indeed to anyone else's knowledge (including my dad's), so such crisis ever occurred. I just hope he didn't hear my housemate sniggering in his room downstairs*; he does love a good dad joke.

*Ironically I've noticed that laughing at Dad jokes tends to make said Dad more depressed than when you don't, since they're usually fully aware of how bad their joke is and laughing at it only serves to remind them of the fact that people are actually paying attention to the regrettable nonsense which often leaves their mouths.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PantuTheDog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2013
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The Ultimate Pun

This has been my favorite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I don't get it," says the executioner. "I didn't let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

Edit 1: Thanks for my first gold /u/Lhjnhnas!!!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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The Ultimate Dad Joke: The Bulgarian Train Driver

Okay, so this has been my favorite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I don't get it," says the executioner. "I didn't let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

show more
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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