A friend decided to gift me the boots I’ve been drooling over

They weren’t the color I wanted, but beggars can’t be shoes-y.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What do you call a mob of drooling zombies?

The Salivation Army

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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What do you call drooling people who ring the bells outside of stores during the Holidays?

The Salivation Army

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NyteCreatrix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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My baby keeps getting covered in drool.

I need to get a better pillow...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonAtlas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My favourite word is "Drool"

It sort of rolls off the tongue

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetmonkeylove
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I asked my wife about a ballerina in a picture who looked familiar. She said it was Anna Pavlova.

I said I thought her face rang a bell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What’s a cat’s drool called?

Mewcus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WKBX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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Hope my "Mr T" mask stops Coronavirus, they were all sold out of "Face" masks.

GTF bot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Iron Bowl humor

Q: Did you hear that U of Alabama's library burned? A: It's true! They lost all 3 of their coloring books!

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on campus at U of A? A: A visitor!

Q: What do a maggot and a U of A fan have in common? A: They can both live off a dead bear for twenty years.

Q: How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 80,001. 1 to change the bulb, 80,000 to talk about how great the old lightbulb was.

Q: How do you make Alabama cookies? A: Put em in a bowl and whip em for 60 minutes.

Q: Did you hear Saban was going to dress up 20 players for the Iron Bowl? A: The rest will have to dress themselves.

Q: Alabama is changing their mascot to the Opossums. A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do Alabama players get on their SATs? A: Drool.

War Eagle!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joblessidiot420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog

(From Abbott and Costello’sΒ radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen β€” in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother β€” Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, I’m not talking about that. What is the dog’s breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, …
Lou Costello: That’s it, Abbott! He’s a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editor’s note: we now call an β€œicebox” a β€œrefrigerator”)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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There should be a store to donate your spit.

It would be called the Salivation Army

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chernoobyl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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I'm trying to quit my addiction to smelling saliva.

The whiff drool symptoms are terrible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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β€œHave you heard of Pavlov?”

I think so. It rings a bell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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