Did you hear about the nationwide sting operation on those who mix drinks?

Many of them are behind bars now.

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📅︎ Jun 21 2017
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I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
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👤︎ u/bb5x24
📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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Today I mixed Holy water and prune juice together to make a new drink.

It gave me a religious movement.

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📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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A couple is trying to decide what kind of mixed drink to make.

The husband suggests a type of juice and coconut rum. "Do you think that would be good?" she asked. "I do", he replied. "It's worth a shot!", she concluded.

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👤︎ u/davbrowdid
📅︎ Mar 26 2016
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What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Jun 21 2016
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Got my co-worker at a hotel restaurant.

I: You gonna go get your free flu shot?

CW: I don't like shots.

I: I'm sure if you asked, they'd make you a flu mixed drink.

CW: ??

I: You know, like a Flu and Coke.

CW: haha

I: Or a Fludriver.

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👤︎ u/nemo_sum
📅︎ Nov 01 2017
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Designated Driver

I'm not usually one for bars, but since the smoking ban in Illinois, they're not so bad. I'm not much of a drinker either, but this one place in particular offers free soft drinks for designated drivers of groups of three or more. You have to get them from a location separate from the bartender. You declare yourself upon entering the place, then your hand is marked, and from that point, you're not allowed alcohol, but you get the free soft drinks.

Their specialty is their own brand of a mixed fruit drink that's really good. It's popular enough that you're usually standing behind six or seven people to wait your turn. So, Saturday night, while I'm waiting for mine, this cute blonde walks up behind me. I figured I'd try to be witty and asked her, "Can I buy you a drink?"

She scowled at me with, "Well aren't you the funny one?"

"What's with the attitude?" I asked her.

"Sorry," she said. "It's them." And she thumbed toward a table with (would you believe it?) a brunette and a redhead.

"Why?" I asked. "What'd they do?"

"I'm just getting sick of it," she said. "Every time we come here, it's always me in the punch line."

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👤︎ u/Myntrith
📅︎ Apr 15 2015
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Got the husband for a double...

A couple of weeks ago, we were at home with my husband, having a few drinks at the end of the week and just relaxing. I had a glass of Dr. Pepper in front of me that I mixed with some rum. He came up and asked me if I wanted to grab "something stronger," assuming it was straight Pepper in the glass. I declined, saying that it's already mixed.

Him: "Didn't realize it was already doctored."

Me: "Yup, a doctored Doctor. Gimme the news."

I'll just show myself out. You're welcome for the earworm.

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📅︎ May 26 2015
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