What does a sheep do when she's going the wrong way down a road?

She makes a ewe turn.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceCowboy58
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s the best way to get down from a camel?

You don’t, you get down from a duck!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Woody2468
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2022
🚨︎ report
There was a worlwide study of bees, and they discovered that the bees from one country consistently tried to enter the hive upside down, and then realizing the mistake, would enter the correct way. What countries bee was this?

The U.S. Bee. (Edit: think computers - not a slag against America)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/canuck_4423
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2022
🚨︎ report
Found out today that my hand can fit inside my wife's gloves, all the way down to the palm...

We just don't share similar inch wrists.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i4mb4tm4n
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2022
🚨︎ report
Me: Sorry I'm late. I broke down on the way to work.

Boss: Is your car with the mechanic?

Me: Car?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
A man has a goose on the top of a building. What is the easiest way for him to get down?

Pluck it off the goose.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chacham2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to cut down a tree?

It depends on who's axing.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gracius0ne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the slice of bread say to his buddy on the way down a volcano

We’re toast!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saxophysics
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A dad is driving the wrong way down a one way street. The son says β€œDad! This is a one way street!”

Dad says β€œI am going one way!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Churchofbabyyoda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going down an escalator this morning and everybody up top was looking right at me the whole way down

I guess you could say they were moving stares

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jcougars7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2021
🚨︎ report
You know, people made fun of trump for the way he went down that ramp.

It was a little con descending in my opinion.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimjimjimjim69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:

"Put the horses in the back." I hate the song but it made me laugh

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shromboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.

He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the fastest way for Harry Potter to get down the mountain?

Running, jk rowling

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
You’re walking down the road and you feel something in your shoe. You take off your shoe and find a smaller shoe inside. What would be the only way to describe that?

Instepcion

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hailey0720
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the orange only roll half way down the hill?

He ran out of juice! 🍊πŸ₯€

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrizzlyBaird2112
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
This is a family favorite. My grandpa got pulled over going the wrong way down a one way street.

The cop goes, "This is a one way street!"

My grandpa replies, "How many ways was I going?"

πŸ‘︎ 224
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mellowde
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Dracula is speeding down the street on his way to the blood bank when he gets pulled over by the police.

The officer asks β€œAre you sure you know where you’re going?”

Drac: β€œO, positive!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frank-Li
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest way for Harry Potter to get down a hill? Walking.

JK, rolling

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmdddmmm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I had to take down some scaffold that was in the way at work.

It held me up long enough.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/varukasalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife knows I hate shopping, especially at Christmas. Dropped this gem on the way from the 3rd floor down to the 1st.

What's wrong, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. It's just this damned escalator. It's really letting me down.

Got the whole eye-roll along with the sigh & groan.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeF4y
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
I got pulled over by a cop for going down the wrong way down a one way street...

He said "sir,do you realise this is a one way street?"

I said "but officer, I was only going one way."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/balloonman_magee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.