Cars 1 β€œradiator springs” car pun

How the heck did it take me 13 years (watched it in 2008) for me to get that (probably a double) car pun. β€œRadiator springs”, cuz Car radiators. Correct me if I’m wrong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrandiBlitz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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During lockdown people have been choosing to wear no clothes at all.

The naturist groups report their members have doubled in size.

(Too subtle for a dad joke?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skin_shimmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Why didn't Jesus give Judas a second chance?

Because Jesus didn't want to be double crossed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nichi789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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How did the cheese paint his wife?

He double Gloucester

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Whiskey is an amazing invention...

2 doubles and you start feeling single again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.

I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiefmudbear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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What's Trump's favourite flavour of ice cream?

Mmm peach mint.

A double scoop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What kind of bra does R2 shop for?

Double D2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Double negatives.

Double negatives are a real no-no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risperdali
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?

A: Double jointed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scoobsboob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What is a witches favorite gum?

Double Bubble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME

I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.

Let's see what you can do!

What you need to know about the game:

  • You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
  • Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
  • You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.

That's basically it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyounr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.

We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.

Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.

Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"

And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A__Wild__Goose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Jeweler said I could buy two crucifixes for the price of one.

I was double-crossed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncredDeadVipet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Why is booze better than carrots?

Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What is Fonzies favorite battery?

The double aaaayyyyyyyyyy.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gtx28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Cocktail Bar

A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asked for a double entendre - so the barman gave her one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolPaul75
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I learned pregnant horses are faster than other female horses

They have double the horsepower

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stoutlikethebeer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Watch your grammar please!

The double negative is a complete no no!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainSpy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What is a sheep cloner's favorite letter?

Double ewe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitFartFerguson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What do you call a pregnant woman on Thanksgiving?

Double Stuffed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomsav
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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How did the cheesemonger paint his boat?

He double Gloucester

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trigrex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...

...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...

...She went from studying faults to double-faults.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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A Roman walks into a bar and says β€œI’ll have a martinus.”

The bartender asks β€œDon’t you mean a martini?”

In response the Roman says β€œIf I wanted a double I’d have asked for it!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Kinley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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So if a group of crows killed another group of crows...

Would that be double homicide?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Why is the Norwegian flag having trust issues?

It’s been double crossed so many times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesecakeMMXX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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A king who fought China

Once upon a time there was a king in the olden times

He loved giving out diktats like

"So shall citizens pay double the tax"

"So shall boys over 18 join the army"

He went to war with China

He won

In the court, they brought a Chinese man

"Your Majesty, he's the best singer in China, but refuses to sing since he is unwell with cough, fever"

The king then gave out a new diktat

"So shall this Tan sing"

And to this day, when it happens..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What do you call a gay Irishman?

A double rainbow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goopeh_Tomatoes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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My best friend couldn’t come out to the pub with me tonight so his identical twin came instead.

He’s my buddy double.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.

My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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How to spell cow in thirteen letters?

See-O-Double You

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarzan-loves-cats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Want to know when youll die?

Wait until you have a midlife crisis, then double your age.

I was told this joke belongs here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiJasaJ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do you use to put a bolt in someones back?

A double crossbow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Baker joke

Baker: I'm sorry love, I won't be home till late. I'm doing a double shift.

Wife: But why?

Baker: I knead the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnrichmondman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What’s Boris Johnson’s favourite chocolate bar?

A Double Decker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_lande_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I really loved my Aunt Endre, so I decided to clone her.

That way I would have double Aunt Endres.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Cortana for Windows 10 is the queen of Dad Jokes

Me: "Tell me a Joke"

Cortana: "Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in the mud, then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double crosser"

Me: Groan "Tell me a Good Joke."

Cortana: "There are two types of people in the world: Those who need closure"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswerto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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My wife just got her breast pump going...

So my wife just got her breast pump all set up. She's got the double suckers rolling, tits out, milk flowing like a minor tributary. And I ASK "ARE YOU PUMPED?!" fucking genius.... She stared silently for like 10 seconds. Then told me to post here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeremySTL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Carrots may improve your eyes

But booze will double your vision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What’s the best cheese to paint with?

Double Gloucester

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manctrev1974
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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