Just got a dog and was advised to take him to a vet
Not sure what much it did for him, but I learned a lot about the Cold War
My dog ate a string of christmas lights. Thankfully, the vet was able to remove them...
He said my dog was delighted!
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. I just took him to the vet to get him checked out.
Someone took an aging dog to the vet
They asked the vet to put their dog down.
The vet says, "Why that's the ugliest, mangiest, most disgusting mutt I've ever seen!"
So I noticed my dog chowing down on a tree, unfortunately he hurt his jaw so I took him to the vet
The vet said. “You know how we are what we eat? Well good news is he stopped but now he’s all bark and no bite”
The vet picked up my dog and said: “he’s cross eyed, I’m going to have to put him down.”
I said: “because he’s cross eyed!?” to which he replied: “no, because he’s really heavy.”
Vet is explaining what’s wrong with a woman’s dog and says “I think I’m going to have to put him down.” Woman: “Oh my God, is it that bad?!?”
Vet: “No, he’s just really heavy.”
My wife came home from the vet and told me our dog has epilepsy. I said we should throw her onto a bed of lettuce. She asked why.
A man takes his dog, Ace, to the vet for him to be fixed. He comes back the next day, and finds his dog surrounded by an entire pack of fixed dogs.
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
My vet asked me for a stool sample from my dog
I told them she didn't have any stools, she just sits on the ground, but they just looked at me like I was an idiot.
Took my dog to the vet for a check-up...
...after about 20 mins, the vet brought my sweet dog out of the room.
"I'm sorry ,"he said sullenly, "I'm going to have to put your dog down."
"Why?"
"Cos he's really heavy."
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.
Confused and upset, I asked why.
The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
True story: many years ago I adopted a new dog. Took him to his first visit to the vet.
The lady at the vet: “what’s his name?”
Me: “The shelter told me his name is Toby”
Her: “Well, what does he think his name is?”
Me: “........ Kunte Kinte”
She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.
A man brings his Rottweiler into the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” the vet says, “Let’s have a look at him.” The vet picks up the dog and looks into his eyes.
After a few second the he says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”
The shocked owner replies, “what?! Because he’s cross-eyed?!”
“No, because he’s heavy.”
My 4y olds temp is a bit high this morning so I told her she was as sick as a dog we have to take her to the vet.
She was a bit scared a very confused until we showed up at grandmas house as usual. Happy Veterans Day to my mom and those who served ! and thanks to all of you that are AD | NAD | TRS | TAMP for your service.
Should i take my dog to vet?
A gardener took his dog to the vet...
"He's been acting real depressed," explained the gardener. "He just lays in the garden day after day, letting out these really sad sighs... "
"I see," replied the vet. "What do you grow?"
"This season it's cantaloupe, but I don't see how that's relevant."
The vet nodded knowingly and replied, "Well, that explains it-- he's a Melon Collie."
I chose this vet for my dog specifically because of the puns
I took my dog to the vet yesterday...
When I walked in, I saw a lady holding a leash attached to a miniature pony. I asked what was wrong with it, she said "he's just a little hoarse."
My dog was terrified to see the vet again after his first visit
I noticed my dog starting to shake every time he barked, so I took him to the vet.
She confirmed my worst fears. Diagnosis: Barkinson's disease.
What did the vet say to the dog?
My friends dog Duncan went to the vet to get neutered the other day...
His nickname went from Duncan Donuts to Duncan Nonuts.
Got my dog a check up at the vet today.
They said they needed a CAT scan
CAT scan came back negative.
Dog confirmed not a cat.
One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"
I took my dog to the vet because he was losing hair on his head.
Apparently he's got male patting baldness.
Vet: Are you here about your dog’s salivation issues?
Me: No, I’m sure he’s going to heaven. Can you fix his excessive slobbering?
The vet said he had to put my dog down.
His arms were starting to hurt.
Took the dog to the vet
I took our 16 month old dog, Thor, to the vet yesterday for his annual shots.
Vet, to me: "Looks like the last time we saw Thor was for his surgery to get neutered."
Vet, later, to Thor: "So are you like the comic book Thor? Do you have a big hammer?"
Me: "Not since that last appointment."
My parents took our dog to the vet for some tests, and my dad let me know what, exactly, they were doing.
I went with my father to take our old dog to the vet...
...They didn't let me in but I could hear parts of the conversation behind the door.
Apparently our old dog is going to be given to Youth in Asia.
my dog ate a whole bag of scrabble tiles so I took him to the vet
My dog ate a bunch of scrabble tiles so now he's at the vet.
My dog ate all the tiles from my Scrabble game, so I took him to the vet.
I had to take my dog to the vet because he swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles
My dog swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.
I had to take my dog to the vet, because he ate a bag of Scrabble tiles.
My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
My dog jumped into some freezing water. A random German tourist jumped in to save him. He told me "Here is ze dog. keep him varm and he vill be just fine". I asked if he was a vet.
"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"
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