Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?
Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
(My dad's a math teacher)
Do you know why scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?
Because if they rolled forward, they’d be in the boat
Do you wanna know what kind of music windmills listen to?
Do you know the problem with fashion nazis?
They're always arguing over who has the best jeans
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
Do you know why the security guard is not the champion?
Because he is not the best of the mall
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?
How do you know someone is a racist?
"They go VROOM VROOM VROOM"
What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of synonyms?
Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?
Do you know what Fe stands for?
Do you know what 50 Cent used to do every time he got hungry
What do call an animal that knows if you're lying?
Do you guys know what the most popular car in South Boston is?
My dad asked me, “Do you know why our neighbour’s house burned down?”
Me: Fireworks?
Dad: Yeah. Sadly it does.
Do you know mike and jack?
They had a son who went on to become a famous musical star.
michal-jack-son
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
Do you know what’s next after the USA?
These Jokes are terrible. Do you know what is more terrible?
Do you know what my grandmother's zodiac is?
Do you know the musician who enrolled in a programming course?
He said it was a major improvement to his C# skills, it also augmented his C+ code.
When do you know if your doctor is a quack?
Do you know why I don't like Paper?
Because it's tearable!
I know this is not original (plenty of renditions out there), but my 8 year old made it up herself. So not only is it original to her, she made my day.
Do you know what's funny?
I'm trying to become a comedian
Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
How do you know if a cow takes weed?
Do you know how coal turns into diamonds?
It coalapses underpressure!
When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
That side has more birds.
Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?
Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
Do you know what’s wrong about sharing COVID dad jokes?
It may take you two weeks to get it.
Do you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer ?
Do you know what Cthulhu loves on his steak?
Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies?
Do you know what car someone who loves rhythmical music should own ?
Do you know why laughing gas makes you laugh?
Do you know why divers fall backwards into the water
If they fall forwards they will fall into the boat
Do you know why Leopold II. doesn't travel to Africa anymore?
Do you know why are they called calves?
Because they are half a cow.
When flying in V formation one side's often longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
That side has more birds on it
How do you let your Native American friend know he's welcome anytime?
Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
Do you know what happens when you play a country record backwards?
Your truck comes back, your wife comes back, your dog comes back, your trailer isn’t flooded...
How do you know when it’s alpaca time?
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."
Do you know what 50 did when it was hungry?
When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
Because there are more geese on that side.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
