A list of puns related to "Dilate"
Pupils...they dilate.
The eyes, because they dilate.
It was an eye-opening experience.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡Pupils. They dilate.
Because they dilate.
Because it’s normal that pupils dilate.
Because they dilate.
Me: So you think he might be born by midnight?
Her: I dunno...we might get in there and the triage nurse says I'm only 1cm
Me: Hmmm...I think you're more like 5'2"
It went down as well as you might expect.
They dilate
My wife has been in labour for about 18 hours and was at 8-9cm of dilation when the nurse last checked.
The nurse said that she'll wait another half hour before checking again and then hopefully she can start pushing. My wife said "sure, what's another half hour?"
I said "30 minutes."
After reading the circumcision story from u/Oemus2776 this morning, I was reminded of how little the nurses at my wife’s first birth appreciated my comedic stylings.
My wife was in labor and the nurse came in to check the dilation of the cervix. She had her hand under the sheet and said, “alright now, I’m just feeling for change.” I replied, “well you’re in luck! I found two dimes and a quarter in there just yesterday!”
Crickets...
Two pregnant ladies meet at the prenatal care unit. They quickly hit it off and can't wait to start hanging out. They have ladies nights on Mondays, double dates with their husbands on Wednesdays, but on Fridays they decided to learn Karate. The instructor at the dojo reluctantly accepts, against the advice of his understudy. Go figure, two weeks in, both ladies have their water break. The instructor tells his understudy,
"quick, call my Optometrist!"
The understudy responds, "What? No, I should call for an ambulance. Why would I call your Optometrist at a time like this?"
"Because my pupils are dilating!"
Me: Did you guys have your baby yet?
Him: Not yet, almost. She is 9cm.
Me: Wow, that's a small baby...
Him: ..... No, 9cm dilated
Your pupils because they dilate...
Your pupils, they dilate.
Your eyes, cause they dilate
The pupils. They dilate
The eyes, because they DILATE
Your Pupils. They dilate.
Your pupils; they dilate.
Your pupils! They dilate.
Your pupils. They dilate.
Your pupils. They dilate.
Your pupils because they dilate.
Your pupils. They dilate
Your pupils. They dilate.
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