I met a girl on tinder whose bio said she used to work at a meat packing plant and that she'd heard all the jokes before...

So I asked her out on a date for the weekend but to let me know by Friday if she had to can salami.

(Cancel on me)

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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My dad is in the hospital and king of dad jokes.. I'd love to make him a little book

Hi! My dad had a heart attack last week, then went home, less than 12 hours later was back in with a one in a million fluke chance that he'd have complication. He's been in for a week now and was told he is nothing short of a miracle. I'm pregnant and can't really go see him often in ICU because of the very very sick people, but I wanted to do something special and thought i'd ask here. He is pretty down about the whole thing, usually pretty active guy keeping himself busy but I would love to create a little book for him to cheer him up. Nothing crazy but maybe some great jokes to keep him on the cheery side I might include a little art for him too with the joke. Thanks everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vulgarwanderer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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My dad was making a bunch of Dad jokes, and I told him I’d laugh at one an hour

I had forgotten I told him this until an hour later when a timer goes off on his phone and he informs me his hour is up. That was his joke. I rolled my eyes so hard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r42xer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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[REQUEST] I'm looking for the best comeback to the old schoolyard joke, "Do you like seeeeee food?" While smacking and showing off the half chewed mouthful of lunchable they'd just choked down....

And I know most of you here can do better than my,

While stiff arming their face, "I don't wanna seeeeee yo food."

Do you get it? Do ya, cause it's about turning the joke back... You get it right?

Anyway, help a guy increase his dadjoke street cred with his kiddo and his lunchroom hecklers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerHero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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[Request] Needed: Cow Puns

So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.

They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.

Examples:

A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.

A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)

There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.

Thank you for your help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kunk180
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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I know dad jokes aren't for everyone, but I thought I'd go ahead and post one here...

1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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