Cooking Recipe Puns

A friend gave me a load of cooking ingredients but no recipe.

I thought "I don't know what to make of this"

Husband: “What’s cooking?”

Me: “Chicken.”

Husband: “Smells foul”

It’s called Mal-Nutrition

I should have taken it with a grain of salt

You know, the ones that say "add a canada tomatoes, a canada beans, a canada corn..."

Decided to cook our Chicken Korma recipe with potatoes, onions, etc. in our InstaPot. It was Instant Korma.

Now I can’t open the oven, as the door faces the wall.

Peter Johnson took a job at a Chinese Restaurant, and was learning how to make all the items on the menu. He did great on most dishes, but some of the notes all ended with the word "smackdown". Since he was confused, he asked one of the other cooks about it.

"Jian, why do all of these recipes have 'smackdown' as the last step?"

"That's easy. When you smell what is cooking, you drain the wok, Johnson."

Went grocery shopping, and bought some chicken leg quarters for the first time to use on a recipe I found online.

Wife said while she was putting the groceries away, “Leg quarters? You don’t know how to cook those,” to which I replied, “Guess I’ll just have to bake it to make it.”

I’ll see myself out.

Her: The recipe says, Step 3: Prick with a fork to make sure it’s cooked.

Me: "What on earth is that crazy concoction that you're cooking up?"

Wife: "It's a Jamie Oliver recipe. I'm just following it."

Me: "If Jamie Oliver gave you a recipe to jump off a bridge, would you follow it?"

Wife: "Yeah, probably."

Me: "He should name it Jamie's seafood pancakes".

Groaning ensued.

Was cooking pancakes for the whole family the day before Christmas, usually we have 4-5 people in the house when I make pancakes and I do a double recipe but this time there were 12, so I needed to make more. As I'm bringing them out, I say "Normally I'd make Irish pancakes, you know, while I'm making them I'm Dublin the recipe, but because there's so many of you I had to make Libyan pancakes, and every ingredient here is Tripoli multiplied."

My father was talking to my grandmother about the recipe for the rice we had with our chicken. He said he put in some onions, red peppers, and cooked it with chicken stock.

I asked him what he would do with his chicken stock if the chicken market started to go under.

I could see the pride in his eyes when he said "Sell sell sell!"

http://www.reddit.com/r/recipes/comments/2bon8q/how_to_cook_italian_rabbit/cj7ivgl