What can you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is only falling apart?

Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyCatlc
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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I dad joked my son and boyfriend

A little background: My son is about 18 months old, and I read to him every night before bed. He chooses his book, and 99 times out of 100, he chooses "Dear Zoo."

For those who haven't read it, it's about a child who continually writes to the zoo in search for a pet. They send him and elephant which was too big, so he sent it back. Then they send him a giraffe who was too tall, so he sent him back etc. until he gets a dog, which is of course, perfect.

Since our son is talking more and more, my boyfriend was trying to coax our son to say the name of the book:

Boyfriend: what do you want to read tonight? Does it start with dear?....

Me: No, it starts with an Elephant.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scnavi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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My dads cheese jokes.

What type of cheese do you use to coax a bear out of a tree? camembert!

What type of cheese do you use to hide a horse? mascarpone!

What type of cheese is made backwards? edam!

What did the cheese say to itself when looking in the mirror? haloumi!

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? nacho cheese!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beeriod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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