one time i threatened to jump off a cliff but it was just a bluff
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👤︎ u/jbhelms
📅︎ Feb 03 2018
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What do you call your children's children's children's children if they jump off of a cliff?

Your descendants.

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📅︎ Dec 02 2016
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My dad asked if all my friends jumped off a cliff, would I do it as well?

I replied, "Depends how tall Cliff is."

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👤︎ u/EgonVector
📅︎ Aug 18 2021
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What did the optimist say before jumping of the cliff?

So far so good.

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📅︎ Sep 11 2021
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

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📅︎ Jun 04 2020
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I tried jumping off of a cliff yesterday

I don't think he was up for a grown man jumping off his shoulders.

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📅︎ Jun 10 2019
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If you ever see money jumping off a cliff, don't go after it. Everyone says, it is very hard to save money.
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👤︎ u/shagminer
📅︎ Jul 16 2019
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A river was depressed and jumped off a cliff. After years of this occurring I asked....

Water you doing?

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👤︎ u/MexElf
📅︎ May 11 2019
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Dad jokes in conversation

Me: Hey dad can I go to a party this Friday?

Dad: no

Me: but all my friends are going!

Dad: If your friends were all named Cliff would you jump off them??

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📅︎ Jun 24 2022
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Speedometer is stuck on 75

A friend of mine and his girlfriend are waiting out the rain in their parked car to go jumping off a cliff into a lake. Their speedometer being stuck at 75mph. He turns to his girlfriend and says "Well, we are going nowhere fast."

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👤︎ u/MaSUB
📅︎ Aug 06 2014
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I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seatbelt...

Then it clicked

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📅︎ Dec 11 2020
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The tale of Ivan Ivanavich (Long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himself a gig of selling old newspapers. He would go through garbage cans to find old papers and would sell them to people in the poorer part of town. He makes slightly more spare change, but not really enough to live a better life. In his spare time, which he had plenty, he decides to start free diving in the bay. He goes there each day, and started to get really good at it. One day, an owner of a Circus spots him diving and is amazed at how good he is. He decides to offer Ivan a job at his circus doing performance diving. Ivan eagerly accepts and begins his career as a circus member performing amazing high jumps into really small containers of water. After a few months of doing this he suggests to the owner one amazing jump to wow everyone and put his circus on top of the entertainment world. The owner contemplates this and eventually agrees. He rents a ship much like the one Ivan arrived in and placed the smallest container yet. The radio and tv crews, journalist all arrive to spectate the event of a lifetime. The hour arrives and Ivan begins his climb up a massive lighthouse on the edge of the cliff, and the ship is positioned into place beneath him. Ivan is very nervous but decides it's go time, and jumps from the massive lighthouse. As Ivan falls, he takes perfect form heading straight towards his target. As he dives a sudden wave pushes the ship ever slightly throwing off the careful alignment. Ivan hits the deck and goes straight through the top of the ship. The spectato

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Entophreak
📅︎ Jan 31 2017
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