Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together

Nolan says he will direct.

DiCaprio says he will act.

And McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese_Junky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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β€œChristopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegeekofsteel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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You visit Christopher Walken's theme park for Christmas

It's Winter in a Walken Wonderland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malkes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?

Chris Cross Applesauce

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What's the difference between Christopher Reeve and Christopher Walken?

One is Walken the other one isn't

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..

Tenet of ten.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digitek50
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Why did Christopher Columbus pull a bunch of Swiss chard out of the ocean?

He wanted to be in uncharded waters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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It's a Christopher Walk-in
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayfortran
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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A joke I came up with when I was waking up this morning.

Two guys were walking down the street towards one another, the second guy bumps into the first guy and the first guy goes "Ayee, watch it. I'm Walken 'ere" and the second guy goes "oh, sorry Christopher"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjalord25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why was Christopher Robbin?

For Pooh needed the honey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I asked my son if he had heard of Eddie Van Halen

he said "hmm, he rings a bell"

and I said "No, he played guitar"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kame-leon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Nolan!

Christopher Nolan's new and highly anticipated movie will be released on December 15 in blu-ray. Finally I can watch the movie at Tenet-p.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saddam78610
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Why was Christopher Nolan unable to share his movies?

Because he had NO-LAN!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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name your dog Christopher

When you take them for a walk, you’ll be Christopher Walken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DSFII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Christopher paid off his loans

Now he is Christopher No-loan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nkvij
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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What did Christopher Columbus tell his men before they got on the ship?

Men, get on the ship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuzzledSkate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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US Gymnast Christopher Brooks is suspended
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DulceyDooner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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Why did Christopher Robin spend so long in the toilet?

He was playing with Pooh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pensquee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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What did Christopher Lloyd say after drinking Johnnie Walker?

Great scotch!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Was Jack Black? Was Barry white? Was George Strait? Was Marvin Gay?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What animal was Christopher Columbus the most afraid of?

A Navi-Gator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakewilson801
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
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Christopher Walken got arrested in The 100 Acre Woods

He was convicted of stealing Kanga's pouch and had to change his name to Christopher Robben.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soggy_Pronoun
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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Why was Christopher Columbus drunk on his trip to the Americas?

He was quartered on the port side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orangeyf3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Christopher Nolan was giving his composer cooking instructions.

"Hans, simmer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Why did Christopher Walkin lose the marathon?

Because he's not Christopher Runnin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trevino_Is_Here
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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What was Christopher Lee's favorite genre of japanese comics?

Scary-Manga :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmyofNorthernVA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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Dadjoke by Christopher Lee (Video in comments)

Did you hear about the Austrialian Aborrigonie who bought himself a new boomarang?

He spent the rest of his life trying to get rid of the old one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/menashem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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Why did Christopher Poole make 4chan?

Seems like a moot point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomosaur
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaulmejitesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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The legacy begins. imgur.com/u925nMO
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emaxxspeed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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What name can make the most puns?

I'm not talking a combo like Christopher Walken to Christopher Sitten but like on general. Ex. Joe away man!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thjmze21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Which of Winnie The Poohs friends was actually a thief?

Christopher ROBBIN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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One from my dad this morning.

"she was barking at some guy that was walking"

"Is his name Christopher"

"I'm not sure, didn't get to them particulars."

"Christopher Walken?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raylx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Who is the Most famous Explorer

Me: Christopher Columbus?

Dad: Your Stupid, it's Internet Explorer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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My psych professor just dadjoked all of us.

"I named my closet Christopher... because it was a walk-in."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceofHoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
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stared at dad with a straight face for 5min when he got me with this

We're all sat watching a film with Christopher Plummer

Me: Is that Christopher Plummer?

Dad: No , it's Christopher the electrician.

cue exceptionally unimpressed look from me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmhmmhoneybee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2016
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DadZjoked

So I was playing DayZ while my dad was watching (for those that don't know, there is ALOT of walking in this game).

Dad: It seems like all you do is walk. Me: Ya, and I never run into anyone. Dad: Who knows, you might run into Chris. Me: ?? Dad: Ya, Christopher Walken!

-_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OctanePhantom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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