Charge Nurse Puns

For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"

I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural

Few weeks ago i was in a car with a my mum and a friend who is a pysch nurse and she was telling me a stories about some of the patients and she said to me a woman swallowed a battery, without me missing a beat I said was she charged with anything? cue everyone in the car groaning and my mum whacking me in the shoulder