Cafeteria Catholicism Puns

Its is a common insult to call someone who has either left the Catholic church for disagreeing with its teachings, or one that stays but does not agree with everything, a "cafeteria Catholic." These insults are only lobbed at those that find some point of issue with how the church reacts to modern issues, and never at those Catholics that claim to be "traditional" and accepting of all the church's teachings. For this reason I think we should examine the cafeteria of Catholicism and to see how easy it is to pick and choose and to fill one's plate with some of what is offered while leaving behind others.

First there are of course the things that have been in the cafeteria that were poison. The Catholic church at the time of the reformation was in many ways toxic and exploited its followers.

There are those things that claim to tradition, but are really not a part of the most ancient parts of the cafeteria’s offerings. The primacy of Rome and the dense ecclesiastic structure that is present in the church today is nothing like the equal confederation of regional churches that comprised the early church.

There is the traditional music, and there is the wealth of music of both Protestant and Catholic composition that has been written since the renaissance.

There is the traditional understanding of the priesthood as all male.

There is the “traditional” language of Latin, and there are the vernacular languages that make the worship of God intelligible to all believers.

There is an understanding of marriage as first for the bearing of children.

There are miles and miles of cannon law.

There are church councils that offer exciting and new dishes, more accessible to all people that come to the cafeteria.

And at the end of the buffet, there are some very simple dishes: the greatest command, to love God and your neighbor; to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us; The corporal works of mercy; the spiritual works of mercy, the beatitudes.

These, are what the so called “cafeteria Catholics” tend to gobble up. They know that love comes first. They do not reject the Latin mass because it is too hard, they accept the vernacular mass because they can understand it, they can use it to worship and glorify God. They do not reject ancient cannon laws because they think they know better than all the Catholics who came before us, they accept the outsider and reach out in love because that is the greatest command.

All Catholics are Cafeteria

I post a lot about Christianity in many different forums. I thought it would be good just to talk about my personal spiritual journey within the Christian tradition. I grew up in a Baptist and Evangelical spiritual tradition. I was born in the Caribbean and the Baptist Church that I went to was one that was somewhat traditional but at the same time socially engaged.

When I moved to Canada the Baptist Church I went to here was part of the conservative evangelical tradition in North America. My family moved when I was a child. I liked the Conservative Evangelical Church that I grew up in initially because of the community aspect in terms of youth camps, sunday schools and things of that sort. As I got to High School and then university I started to question and I increasingly became dissatisfied with the Evangelical Church I went to for a couple of different reasons. I was dissatisfied with the anti intellectualism. I was dissatisfied with the Biblical literalism. I became dissatisfied with the creationist rhetoric from the pulpit. I was dissatisfied the association of Christianity with a right wing political agenda, as if being a Christian only meant being on the right. I became dissatisfied with the exclusivism as well as the openly anti LGBTQ rhetoric that seemed to demonised the gay community. I also became dissatisfied with the rootlessness and low church styles of worship in evangelical Churches where there was no connection to history and where going to Church didn't feel like something sacred. It just felt like going to a concert or a rally each time. This process accelerated during my time at university(UFT in Canada).

Eventually I left my evangelical Church though not Christianity. I still considered myself Christian and I wanted a more in depth understanding of Christianity. This meant reading up on some of the Church Fathers, Christian thinkers as well as watching videos and documentaries on the Church from people of different denominations. Because of these studies I came to have a deep appreciation for the historic Churches. I was very drawn and attracted to the liturgical and sacramental traditions, because it felt like something historic and sacred. This was especially true when studying the Orthodox Church, the Catholic Church and the Anglican Church. Reading the Eastern Fathers in the Orthodox Church was deeply helpful in terms of understanding parts of Christian history and early Church theology as well as Eastern theology that changed m

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

..... Will get a reward.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

Because they work on many levels

Well, toucan play at that game.

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

Hi guys, i had readed up on various topic on the sexual sin of masterbetion. I am a Catholic but I do not personally see masterbetion itself as a sin, however, I have read various Internet articles saying that it is deemed a sin by the Church.

I prayed before to Christ to help me found an answer, specifically about Matthew 5:28 which said, if you look upon a woman with lust you have alredy commited adultery. When I read that, I came to believe that it was not necesserily prohibiting masterbetion. Because, in my view, Jesus was warning against the desire of ADULTERY - e.g. entertaining fantasies of stealing another man's wife which was clearly one of the worst crimes at that time.

So, I feel that the Bible it'self does not prohibit the act anywhere specifically. But I am more concerned about the attestations of my religion, Catholicism.

Now, I may be Catholic, but I honestly do not agree with various Church statements. For instance, the view that if you are not a Catholic, you are deluded. I am attracted to Eastern spirituality and I feel that it's doctrines seem to resonate with me more than the black and white obedience paradigm of traditionalist Christianity.

I also admit that I do not fully understand the importance of Christ's sacrifice, but I generelly do not dispute it either. It's just something that is generally confusing to me. I do feel that Christ was some kind of high order mystic and is a very powerful force. I just do not agree personally with various Catholic doctrines, usually about proselytization and sexual restrictions.

Thus, I may be called a Cafeteria catholic. If that makes sense. However, I maintain a relationship with God because I feel like God helps me and my friends. I am not atheist. But I do not like to put particulars on the nature of this God. I know that there is a God, who is good and loving, but I do not agree with some statements regarding with what God deems evil.

So, still, since I am Catholic and was raised in a catholic school, there is some shame and guilt with regards to masterbetion which I find enjoyable and fulfilling as long as it's reguleted. Due to this, I have to pray every time I committ this disgusting act, so that Jesus will 'understand' me.

What do you think of this?

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

I post a lot about Christianity in many different forums. I thought it would be good just to talk about my personal spiritual journey within the Christian tradition. I grew up in a Baptist and Evangelical spiritual tradition. I was born in the Caribbean and the Baptist Church that I went to was one that was somewhat traditional but at the same time socially engaged.

When I moved to Canada the Baptist Church I went to here was part of the conservative evangelical tradition in North America. My family moved when I was a child. I liked the Conservativen Evangelical Church that I grew up in initially because of the community aspect in terms of youth camps, sunday schools and things of that sort. As I got to High School and then university I started to question and I increasingly became dissatisfied with the Evangelical Church I went to for a couple of different reasons. I was dissatisfied with the anti intellectualism. I was dissatisfied with the Biblical literalism. I became dissatisfied with the creationist rhetoric from the pulpit. I was dissatisfied the association of Christianity with a right wing political agenda, as if being a Christian only meant being on the right. I became dissatisfied with the exclusivism as well as the openly anti LGBTQ rhetoric that seemed to demonised the gay community. I also became dissatisfied with the rootlessness and low church styles of worship in evangelical Churches where there was no connection to history and where going to Church didn't feel like something sacred. It just felt like going to a concert or a rally each time. This process accelerated during my time at university(UFT in Canada).

Eventually I left my evangelical Church though not Christianity. I still considered myself Christian and I wanted a more in depth understanding of Christianity. This meant reading up on some of the Church Fathers, Christian thinkers as well as watching videos and documentaries on the Church from people of different denominations. Because of these studies I came to have a deep appreciation for the historic Churches. I was very drawn and attracted to the liturgical and sacramental traditions, because it felt like something historic and sacred. This was especially true when studying the Orthodox Church, the Catholic Church and the Anglican Church. Reading the Eastern Fathers in the Orthodox Church was deeply helpful in terms of understanding parts of Christian history and early Church theology as well as Eastern theology that changed