On the plus side, for the next few hours at least, we now have a dog that’s certifiably pure bread.
He overdoughsed.
The storeowner clarifies there is no bread available at the moment. So, the duck walks away and returns a few minutes later, asking for the item again.
The storeowner, surprised at the duck returning, says - I already told you, there is no bread here. So, the duck walks away, but returns again minutes later, asking the same question.
Irate, the storeowner replies - I already told you, there is no bread here and the next time I see you, I would nail your beak shut.
So, the duck asks - Got any nails?
When the storeowner says no, the duck asks - Got any bread?
Rye so serious?
It wanted to become wheat thin
I want to be prepared incase there's a traffic Jam.
No? Then remind me not to send you to the store for a loaf of bread.
Ah, that's a match made in 'Oven
But I really kneaded that.
The yeast you can do is rise to the occasion!!!
So I bought 12 loaves of bread.
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.
I wasn't born yeast-erday!
The woman at the register said, "I ain't no challah back girl."
Apparently, they built this city on rock and roll.
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
My favorite part was the rising action.
I knead one of those!!
“Wherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡It's been super-seeded.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
Thanks, it's been well risen.
DOUGH!!!!!
He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, “This bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, “Dad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, “It’s better to halve it and not knead it.”
"Gluten-tag homeslice!"
They both rise in the yeast
if it doesn't become whiskey.
they say he's packing wheat.
She's been charged for assault with a breadly weapon
“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”
I guess that makes me the bread winner of the family.
It was a Weirdough.
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
It's a new loaf hat diet I'm trying.
Because baggers can’t be choosers.
Turns out it was bread in captivity
“Thanks, it’s pure bread!”.
“If they have eggs, get a dozen” she said. A half hour later, the husband comes home with 12 loaves of bread
A roll model
