Beer Orders Puns

"Oh, wow! 'Princess Bride' is one of my favorite movies," the bartender gushes. "Can you tell me any of the behind the scenes secrets?" "Well a little known fact is that they almost made a sequel. But they scrapped it because Wesley and Buttercup were unable to have children," Elwes said. "She was inconceivable."

“Sorry we don’t serve food here.”

The bartender says, “You come in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?”

The horse says, “I don’t think I am,” and immediately vanishes from existence.

This joke is about the famous Descartes theorem, “I think, therefore I am.” I thought about putting that part at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

After he is served the beer he asks the guy next to him to watch his drink while he uses the bathroom. He does his business, and when he returns the guy watching the drink says “I wouldn’t drink that if I were you.”

“Why not?” He asks.

“That monkey over there, came over and peed in it” he informs him.

“What,” says the man, “whose monkey is that!?”

“I think it’s the piano player’s monkey,” the other guy tells him.

The man goes up to the piano player and says, “hey, do you know your monkey peed in my beer?”

The pianist replies, “no, but if you hum it I’ll try to play it.”

After a few beers, the pile of vomit starts to weep.

The bartender says, "What's going on?"

The pile of vomit says, "I'm feeling a little sentimental. This is where I was brought up."

When he asks the bartender "how much?" the bartender replies "For you sir, no charge."

The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."

and a mop

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve noble gasses.

Argon doesn't React.

The bartender says, “Take a pitcher. It’ll last longer.”

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender: "Sorry we done serve food here."

Mushroom: "Come on, I'm a fungi..."

PS. I know a similar joke was recently posted, but I've always loved this two parter version.

. "Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot." "Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."

"Ship just got reel."

The barkeep says “You’re in here a lot. Do you think you’re an alcoholic?”

The horse replies “I don’t think I am,” and promptly disappears.

See, the joke is about Descartes’ famous formulation of “I think; therefore I am,” but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

The bartender says, "We don't serve food here. "

The bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve food here”

Bartender says That They Don't Serve Food

Bartender says, Sorry we don't serve food here

The bartender says we don't serve food here

But the bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Bartender slides it to him and says "Why the long face?"

Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.

The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

And a mop.

The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."

The barman says what's it with the long face

The bartender says " sorry, we don't serve food here!"

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Bartender says sorry we don’t serve food here.

Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'

The bartender says we don't serve noble gasses here. He didn't react

Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'

The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

Ba dum bum

"Holy shit, a talking horse!"

Bartender says: Sorry, we dont serve food here.

Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

The Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here."

Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here