A list of puns related to "Bagged Milk"
Me: No thank you. You can just leave it in the carton.
I told her to please leave it in the jug.
My wife eye-rolled SO hard and then apologized to the cashier :D
The cashier was laughing though, so I'll take the win.
Dad: That's okay, just leave it in the carton.
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
I told him he could just leave it in the carton.
He would reply, “No, just leave it in the carton”
He says, "no, just keep it in the carton, thanks"
He always gets strange looks and that awkward chuckle from everyone around him afterwards
Customer: Nah that’s okay you can just leave it in the jug...
He said it every time, and now I do it when my kids are shopping with me.
It's so much easier to just leave it in the carton.
I said "No! Leave it in the jug!" Can you imagine the mess?
Dad doesn't miss a beat and replies, "no, just leave it in the jug." I almost died.....
A litre in their field.
I said no, you can leave it in the carton.
When my dad gets milk at the grocery store sometimes the grocery bagger will ask him "do you want the milk in the bag?" he'll say "No thanks, you can just keep it in the jug. Last time it was really big mess." It gets a laugh about half of the time.
Clerk: You want your milk in a bag?
Me: Nah, just leave it in the jug.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit ➡A man walks up to a cash register to pay and while his items are being scanned, the cashiers says if he wants the cartons of milk in a bag. The man replies with "No, leave the milk in the carton."
I purchased some 8oz cans of soda at Target last night and I managed to Dad-joke the cashier:
Cashier: "Do you like these in bags?"
Me: "No thanks, I like them in cans. I didn't even know they came in bags."
She rolled her eyes and ceased all communication.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”
I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit ➡I am a cashier at Publix and had a guy and his wife come through my line. Upon ringing up his milk I asked "do you want your milk in a bag?"
Dad: "No thanks, I find it easier to take it home in the jug it came in!"
Dad's wife: "Dammit Phil, you say that every time we get milk."
Apparently, even after saying it every time, it still makes him chuckle.
So we were on our way back from the grocery store, with our groceries bagged in the back of the car.
As my father drove, we hit a bump, causing our jug of milk to tumble about, the man sounding a soft grunt of frustration.
"The milk is ruined! ...we're going to have to use milkshakes now," my sister joked.
A few seconds passed, and my father simply stated, "It is a milkshake now."
http://imgur.com/7c4bFwj
I can list them all but some of my favourite are:
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone and then it dawned on me.
Whenever the cashier asks me if I want the milk in the bag I say "no just leave it in the carton"
Why was the policeman sleeping in his car? It was arrest stop!
I attached all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a waist of time
"Do you want your milk in a bag?"
"Nah I prefer to keep it in the jug."
Took me about 10 seconds before I realized what he said and couldn't stop laughing
Me: no, leave it in the jug.
I told her to just leave it in the jug
I told her no thanks please leave it in the carton
I said "No thanks, just leave it in the carton."
No thanks, keep it in the jug.
No thanks. You can just leave it in the carton.
I just said that at the grocery store and now my wife hates me.
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
I said I’d rather they leave it in the jug
Dad: No, just leave it in the carton!
No just keep it in the jug
I said no thanks, keep it in the carton!
No just leave leave it in the carton
Dad: Nah, you can just leave it in the carton
Why not leave it in the carton?
no leave it in the carton
DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I reply, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
No, just leave it in the carton!
He replies: "No, just leave it in the carton!"
"No just leave it in the carton!"
Nah you can keep it in the carton...
‘No, just leave it in the carton!’
No, just leave it in the jug please.
I told her "no, in the carton is fine".
cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag?
customer: No, I prefer it in the jug
Me: Goes to grocery store and buys milk. Cashier: Would you like the milk in the bag. Me: No you can leave it in the jug.
While my girlfriend and I were paying for our groceries, the cashier asked "Do you want the milk in a bag?"
I said "It's okay, you can leave it in the jug."
Clerk: You want your milk in a bag?
Me: Nah, just leave it in the jug.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
Cashier: Do you want your milk in a bag?
Dad: No thanks, I'll keep it in the jug.
the cashier would ask, "Would you like your milk in a bag?"
He would reply, "No thanks, keep it in the carton."
The cashier asked “would you like this milk in a bag” to which I replied “thanks, but you can keep it in the jug”
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
As we were checking out this conversation occurred.
Cashier: would you like your milk in a bag?
Little brother: no, keep it in the jug please.
Every time at the grocery they ask my dad if he wants his milk put in a bag. He responds with "no, I think it will be fine in the carton."
Do you want this milk in a bag or should I just leave it in the jug
I asked him, "Sir, would you like your milk in a bag?" He replied, "No thanks, it pours better out of the carton." He must have been a dad.
Me: Would you like your milk in a bag sir? Random Dad: No, I'll just keep it in the jug. Obligatory laugh because I work in customer service
The lady asks "Would you like your milk in a bag?" Dad replies angrily "No! Because then it'll get all over!!"
Two dad jokes in target.
My wife calls and asks "did you remember to buy milk?"
I replied "I'll give you two guesses!"
Then the cashier asked of I wanted milk in a bag and I said "nah let's keep it in the carton, thanks"
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