What do you call someone who can cook 4 things at once on 4 burners?

The Avatar, master of all 4 elements

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Jun 22 2018
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[Request] Need puntastic suggestions related to flail!

Hi punterific people!

I'm a YouTuber that loves puns and use puns regularly in my videos when I play games. I'm having some new graphics donr for my channel and I want to change my 'saying' to reflect the punny part of... Well.. Me :)

The new art depicts my avatar (Game kNight) weilding a shield and a flail - and I want the saying to reflect something in that regard. I persistently play games to win (as if anyone did otherwise) and don't like failing (like most other gamers?);

Thoughts up until now: Flailure is not an option - for me! (but for the enemies I face is implied) Flailing is an option (because facing me will get you flailed) I will not flail you!

Hope you can help me out!

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👤︎ u/Shadewarp
📅︎ Mar 11 2017
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A reporter nearly erupts.

So a news anchor is interviewing the avatar of a hawaiian volcano, a man made of molten rock. The interview goes well, but the volcano god cant' seem to stop staring at the reporter's chest with his eyes of burning, liquid stone. She plays it cool, but waits for the interview to be over to call the spirit on his rude actions. He looks her in the eyes, then points to her exposed microphone, clipped to her lapelle. "What do you call that," he asks.

It's a Lavalier mic.

👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Aug 13 2014
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Grooaaan

So I was playing Sims 4 and I found a glitch where a mop stayed in the hand of my avatar throughout the whole game. My dad walked in and said, "guess he did a bad job cleaning out the bugs"

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📅︎ Sep 17 2014
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King Boomy's Dadjoke
👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/McCoggen
📅︎ Jun 08 2014
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The Long Con

A while ago I was sat down to dinner with my family, a delicious meal as it always is, ta very much Mum. Throughout dinner and the usual post-dinner chatter Dad had been muttering "My my myyyy Delilah..." to himself. Usually you can ignore a bit of a quiet singsong someone outside of a conversation is having to themselves but every 10-15 minutes he'd go "My my myyyy Delilah...". A good 2 hours after starting our dinner my sister feels the need to ask "Dad, why do you keep singing my my my delilah? Was there a song on the radio or something?". Dad gives a confused little look and goes "Hmmm? What? Oh dear oh dear oh dear... It's actually a medical problem. I went to the doctor about it recently" then raises his head trying to conceal that grin that we all know and dread. "He said I had Tom Jones Syndrome. I asked if it was common. He just shrugged and said it's not unusual". I gave him two thumbs up and a look of respect, most of the table gave a horrified groan. 2 Hours! the dedication on that man!

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📅︎ Mar 20 2015
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