Today is the fifteenth of September! MOASS almost definitely confirmed for today, because either we get a SEC report saying so or GameStop gets a free hand to do whatever it likes! Look what this day brought us over the past years, and just imagine what that day will bring us in 2021! <3
Events
994 – Major Fatimid victory over the Byzantine Empire at the Battle of the Orontes.
1440 – Gilles de Rais, one of the earliest known serial killers, is taken into custody upon an accusation brought against him by Jean de Malestroit, Bishop of Nantes.
1530 – Appearance of the miraculous portrait of Saint Dominic in Soriano in Soriano Calabro, Calabria, Italy; commemorated as a feast day by the Roman Catholic Church 1644–1912.
1556 – Departing from Vlissingen, ex-Holy Roman Emperor Charles V returns to Spain.
1762 – Seven Years' War: Battle of Signal Hill.
1776 – American Revolutionary War: British forces land at Kip's Bay during the New York Campaign.
1789 – The United States "Department of Foreign Affairs", established by law in July, is renamed the Department of State and given a variety of domestic duties.
1794 – French Revolutionary Wars: Arthur Wellesley (later Duke of Wellington) sees his first combat at the Battle of Boxtel during the Flanders Campaign.
1795 – Britain seizes the Dutch Cape Colony in southern Africa to prevent its use by the Batavian Republic.
1812 – The Grande Armée under Napoleon reaches the Kremlin in Moscow.
1812 – War of 1812: A second supply train sent to relieve Fort Harrison is ambushed in the Attack at the Narrows.
1816 – HMS Whiting runs aground on the Doom Bar.
1820 – Constitutionalist revolution in Lisbon, Portugal.
1821 – The Captaincy General of Guatemala declares independence from Spain.
1830 – The Liverpool to Manchester railway line opens; British MP William Huskisson becomes the first widely reported railway passenger fatality when he is struck and killed by the locomotive Rocket.
1835 – HMS Beagle, with Charles Darwin aboard, reaches the Galápagos Islands. The ship lands at Chatham or San Cristobal, the easternmost of the archipelago.
1862 – American Civil War: Confederate forces capture Harpers Ferry, Virginia (present-day Harpers Ferry, West Virginia).
1873 – Franco-Prussian War: The last Imperial German Army troops leave France upon completion of payment of indemnity.
1894 – First Sino-Japanese War: Japan defeats Qing dynasty China in the Battle of Pyongyang.
1915 – The Empire Picture Theat
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
