A list of puns related to "At The Movies"
Which always seems to startle strangers.
It started out Rocky, but now it's a creed I live by.
Her: I love movie theater popcorn so much. It's just so good! Even people that don't like popcorn like movie theater popcorn!
Me: I guess you could say it's...popular corn.
She was not pleased.
Cashier: Sure. For the Hobbit?
Me: How dare you, sir! That’s my date!
Me: "try and touch this cheese"
(Daughter reaches for it)
Me: "that's nacho cheese!"
And I bought her M&Ms for a snack. The movie is letting out and we are sitting there talking.
Her - "ugh the M&Ms are melted."
I begin to tell her M&Ms history about how they were made so soldiers could have chocolate without the worry of them melting.
Her -" but the shells are sweaty"
" yeah how else do you think they stay cool?"
She literally just got up and left while I was sitting there laughing my ass off.
She wanted to see How To Be Single. The main character is a paralegal. She moves into a nice apartment in NYC. GF leans over.
Her:how can she afford that. She's just a paralegal. Me:she probably makes more than one legal.
Groans and eye rolls to follow.
"Dad, what's the movie about?"
"It's about two bankers on a conference call... 'Interteller'
Me (making fun of Indiana): Do you want some of my corn?
Her: Isn't it Pop's corn?
Guy behind us: Really? tries to hold laughter
Me and my dad went to see iron man 2 (I think?).. I'm pretty sure this is the one with the scene of Thor's hammer at the end of the credits. Well anyway, right after that after-credits scene my dad stands up, stretches, and announces "man that scene has me thor all over!"
Nobody laughed except my father, who continued to laugh all the way out to the parking lot.
...she was dropped off by her mother and I drove her home after it was over.
My SO and I were trying to decide what movie to go see.
I asked, "is Maze Runner out yet? It looks awesome."
He said, "it looks amazing."
I think he'll be a good dad in a few years.
My dad and I walked into the movie theater and got our 3D glasses. Immediately he puts them on and starts looking at his hands, yelling
"It's all so 3D!"
It was the Fred Schneider cut. Oops!
It was the perfect meet cute and we kept both copies even after getting married. It was sweet. Not all things are meant to last and when things got a bit rocky we decided to get divorced. I let her keep the apartment and moved my stuff out. Unfortunately, we live in one of those states that mail out ballots. She sent me a text a week after I had left to let me know my ballot had come to the apartment. We had ended things amicably, but neither of us wanted to see each other so soon. Committed to my civic duty, I dropped by after work the next day. When she opened the door she was in tears. She had me come in and I immediately saw it, I had forgotten to take my copy of the movie. Somehow, this felt more final than actually signing the divorce papers. I still cared about her, so I asked if she wanted to talk at all. She shook her head and said through tears, “Just take your Up, vote and go.”
I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.
At World's End.
Teamwork makes the Dreamworks
Because they had to wait for It
If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.
After all, these people make a lot of concessions at work.
Film Producer: “This is supposed to be a “Buddy Cop” movie, why do they have this steamy sex scene together?”
Director: “Because everyone enjoys cop-porn at the movies!”
They said I exceeded my Loggins attempts.
He told me, “watch the fuck out man!”
I walked up to the ticket counter and asked him when “the fuck out man was playing”, but there sadly weren’t any showings in the area.
Valhalla Snackbar!
IT was pretty good.
...I asked if he was too busy clowning around.
...apparently the shit hit the fan.
This happened a few years ago, but I only just discovered this sub, so here it is. Friend's dad took a few of us to see 300 in IMAX. There were a couple big digital marquees with the movie names and times once we got inside. One of them included "RESTROOM" on the bottom. We thought this was hilarious and started saying "let's go see Restroom instead! It sounds great! Hahaha."
Friend's dad turns to us with a completely straight face and says, "Nah, I heard it stinks."
Me: I'll have a cheeseburger, hotdog, 2 tater tots, 1 popcorn and a large soda.
Cashier: Will that be all?
Me: (turn to fiancé) I dont know, do you want anything?
Her eyes have never rolled so fast.
and the lady in the seat next to him says, "Excuse me, there's someone sitting there". Dad gets up, turns around, looks at the seat more closely and says, "Oh gosh, I hope I didn't hurt him".
I went in and asked him do you like it? He says "I haven't eaten it yet" so I point at the TV and say "No I meant that" and he replies "Idk I haven't eaten that either"
Me: Did you put butter on the popcorn?
Him: Yeah, I must have been pouring butter for a solid minute.
Me: Thank god it wasn't a gaseous minute!
Him: That would have been very unpleasant for the people around me.
We make a good team :)
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
Christopher Nolan's new and highly anticipated movie will be released on December 15 in blu-ray. Finally I can watch the movie at Tenet-p.
My brother and I were watching this movie called Nonstop. For those who don't know, it's about Liam Neeson and he has to stop killings on a plane every twenty minutes.
So there's a scene where the plane depressurizes and I leaned toward my brother and whispered, "You know, if I was in that situation, I'd be under a lot of pressure too".
Dad spends 35 dollars on tickets for him and his family to see Divergent.
As the group approaches the ticket drop, I hear the dad ask the mom what half of 35 is. She says "17 and half" and the dad gets this big shit eating grin. I rip their ticket stubs and the dad puts on a serious face and says "All right, I'd like $17.50 back please."
The whole family proceeds to groan and tell him to stop as I reluctantly play along and pretend to find some cash.
Not completely sure this is a dadjoke but it sure got the same reaction. This happened about two years ago.
My wife used to work nights and on Friday and Saturday after she went to work, my then-12yo son and I would often watch a movie together. Sometimes he picked, usually it was a movie from The List, movies I liked when I was his age, things that shaped my sense of humor. I want him to be able to recognize the stupid quotes and references I throw at him. It’s his cultural education.
So we settled in for Groundhog Day. I’m a sucker for time travel shenanigans. Finished it up, he enjoyed it, and the next morning he was off to Boy Scout camp for a week.
He came back, we’re all excited to see him, and I tell him I got Groundhog Day 2 from Netflix. Threw it in the DVD player and we got about 20 minutes into before he looked at me and said “this is just Groundhog Day all over again, isn’t it? There is no Groundhog Day 2.”
So worth an extra week hanging onto the disc.
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.
My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit ➡The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son replies “I just did some homework.” The robot slaps the son. The son then says “Okay, okay. I was at my friends house watching a movie.”
Dad asks “What movie were you watching?” The son replies “Finding Nemo”. The robot slaps the son. He then sais “Okay, okay. We were watching porn”
Dad said “What?! At your age I didn’t know what porn was.” The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says “Wow. He certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.
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