Armadillo Repeat Puns

Now he seeks to silence the band once and for all, one slit at a time.

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

In English, it is commonly said that armadillo comes from 'little armored one' in Spanish, which seems to make perfect sense. That origin is repeated here under this dictionary entry for 'armadillo': https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/armadillo

But I was looking at the word 'armado,' and it instead seems to translate to 'armed' in English (e.g. fuerzas armadas). The Real Academia gives several definitions for 'armado,' none of which seem to simply be 'armored': https://dle.rae.es/armado?m=form

And when I directly look for a translation of 'armored,' I get 'blindado'.

Did 'armado' mean 'armored' in older Spanish? Can it still be used that way? Or is this common English explanation a myth?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

As many a reader of /r/PlanetZoo would know, the subreddit is full of ideas. However, I think a lot of them are too "pie-in-the-sky" and may result in inflated expectations based on zero actual evidence. This is why I've decided to de-construct some concepts I think are simply too unlikely to actually happen.

Oceania Pack

For all intents and purposes, the Australia Pack is our "Oceania Pack". The in-game continent label for these animals is specifically Australia. The reason why it's called a Australia Pack is because more people have a conscious idea of what "Australia" is than they would for "Oceania". But you may ask they could just make a second Australia Pack 2. That brings me to my next case:

Most Continent Repeat Packs

To refresh, names matter a lot in the realm of video games. Given this baseline, it should be very clear as to why "sequels" to DLC would be a terrible idea. The concept is simply far to confusing for a company that just wants a simple influx of money. Concepts like an "Amazon Pack" should immediately be ruled out in this circumstance.

That being said, there are 2 exceptions to this principle that I think could happen. The first one is a Central America Pack, given Frontier's confused history with the region. The next would be most re-runs at Asia, as long as they have names distinct from the Southeast region (ex. yes to Central Asia or the Middle East, no to East Asia or South Asia).

Subjective Adjective Packs

This area would include things like a "weird animals pack" or a "small animals pack". In order to be marketable as possible, the names need to be as understandable as possible. It's too subjective to say that something like an armadillo is "weird enough" for a "weird animals pack".

"Big League" Ideas

I'm admittedly painting a super broad stroke here. Basically I'm including stuff like obligate marine animals (ex. sharks, dolphins), extinct animals (ex. mammoths, stegosaurs), and non-existent animals (ex. bigfeet, unicorns). While I'd love to see this type of lawless gumption from Frontier, their history supports them playing their hand much safer than what these ideas would require.

That's my lot. What DLC ideas do you guys think have seldom chance for the game?

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— Camp, can you hear me? It’s snowing pretty bad around here! I almost got stuck.

The man with a moustache behind the wheel of the Armadillo grimaced and wiped his forehead with a scratchy knitted mitten.

— I’m going home. It’ll be late in the garage. Put some water on the stove. I’m craving for some tea, — the man grinned, — I’m not alone.

On the roof of his armoured car between two 76 mm “Judge” cannons there was a fluffy spruce tree covered with snow. The survivor’s Armadillo slowly made his way through the high snowdrifts. The man behind the wheel was smiling: it was warm in the cabin, there was plenty of gas in the tank, and home was very close. His back was starting to hurt, but the “spine crunching” still helped. His head was filled with thoughts about the mysterious New Year events that the old madman was talking about at the campfire. Why not participate?

A soft baritone sang about snowing on the shabby portable music player, the parts for which the survivor had been searching for months. But the driver didn’t want any snowing at all. In a blizzard, the enemies may be closer than they appear.

The first fear was confirmed after only 20 minutes: a clear evening was replaced by a snowy night. The weather in these regions is very unstable and could just as abruptly become clear at any moment. The driver had just passed the old cable car station that led to the mountains, which meant it would still be a three-hour drive home. And with poor visibility it would take all five hours. The weather became even worse, but the driver continued to hope for the best.

And so did the heavy Armadillo with a huge spruce on the roof; it was pushing through the snow and bogging down. The driver managed to drive into the clearing, but the car went no further.

The survivor nervously hit the fuel gauge with his knuckles. If the calculations are correct, he can afford to stand around for a while so he doesn’t get lost. In that time, the storm may subside.

The driver ran his hand over his moustache and started rubbing his temples with it, covering his eyes. The situation was getting on his nerves. Trying to distract himself, he began to peer into the “snow wall”. The white dots on the black background rapidly replaced each other, and it felt like looking out of a spaceship, rushing at high speed among the stars. The survivor saw it on TV

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

I was let down with the Ants post, so I came up with some team names based off state mammals/birds. Left a couple out that were repeat animals. Also, moved Oakland to Vegas for variety.

St. Louis Bluebirds

Kansas City Mules

Chicago Cardinals

Chicago White Tails

Atlanta Thrashers

Tampa Bay Dolphins

Miami Manatees

Arizona Ringtails

Los Angeles Grizzlies

San Diego Whales

Las Vegas Desert Sheep

San Francisco Quail

Colorado Bighorns

Boston Groundhogs

Detroit Robins

Minnesota Loons

New York Beavers

Philadelphia Grouse

Texas Longhorns

Houston Armadillos

Seattle Orcas

Milwaukee Badgers

DC Wood Thrushes

Baltimore Orioles

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Be me: Thorrke

Be not me: Lin, Hog(Scheduling Conflict), DM

The Trio assembled we left our village behind, for now, to explore the nearby mountain...

Hog stays back with the hut to make sure we have shelter to return to if we need to in a hurry.

We mount our Cloudspears and launch, To the Mountain!

As we ascend we find wounds in the mountain, pouring forth the clearblood that serves as necessary sustenance for life in this world...

From our elevated vantagepoint we spy smaller relatives to the Snatchers, the giant dangerous Harvestmen we encountered previously, clambering around the mountain.

"Let's see where the blood comes from." -Thorrke

Lin agrees and with that we land near a cavern...

We see veins in the walls but can't quite see the important stuff.

A moment of work and Thorrke makes a Glimmer-Beetle Carapace arrow... lights it and sends it down into the hole.

Quickly he grabs the spyglass and views what's illuminated... we see more veins as the hole contracts inward before hitting the back wall and falling out of view.

Brain roll for Thorrke... he spies movement within the clear-blood. Eel-like creatures in the dark of the cave.

Hrm... Thorrke considers this for a short while before deciding on how to approach this challenge!

He builds a small kiln with the heat-carapace shards and treats some bonewood to make pittons and a small hammer.

Thorrke then passes the Spyglass to Lin and points out the Eels...

She asks what they are... we don't know. Ignorance!

Time to remedy this situation... Thorrke ties a glimmer-beetle shard to Lins forehead and sends her in to spear one.

The first one... isn't alive. It's an empty segmented exo-skeleton.

Lin pokes it... the clearblood around it begins jiggling... we realize too late this is a False-Blood

Monster! This is bad!

It ambushes Lin dealing damage before she can get away.

Thorrke fires his crossbow at the ooze... it hits.

Lin misses as it begins to retaliate!

It's really struggling to do damage as Thorrke reloads and Lin stabs it again.

We get lucky and both of us crit it back-to-back slaying the ooze.

The solid core of the creature shatters leaving it very dead... Thorrke quickly gathers the shards into a sack before we press onward.

We press onward pass a few eel exo-skeletons before reaching the where the ground begins to slope sharply downward... Thorrke pittons into a wall

DM points out that, somehow, the Clearblood is being pushed up the 45 degree angle out into t

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Hi everyone! Fal here. Recently, a lot of people have complained because they want to know what their mains are doing in the worldwide event that is The Ruination.

In an attempt to answer that, I've compiled all the knowledge I have about lore, theorized a bit, and made a list of what each champion is doing during the event. This is obviously headcanon and not meant to be absolute serious. I just thought it'd be a fun thing if I could give people an idea of what their mains are doing.

Due note, some champions have little to no lore, and I couldn't exactly point to what they're doing since we have so little info on what they even do in the universe. So champs like Cho, Shaco and Kog are in a "???" position. Champions who are in the event are noted as such.

Without further ado, here's my list, by alphabetical order:

Aatrox – When the Mist came pouring over the world, Aatrox was ready to fight for no other reason than to annihilate everything in existence. However, facing an incorporeal threat, he quickly burned himself out and encountered a shortage of bodies. He’s currently in Sword mode. The Mist tried to break through to his prison, but could not overcome the powerful magics binding him.

Ahri – Is in the event.

Akali – Is fighting against the wraiths as best she can. It’s a complicated endeavor for her because she’s not inherently magical, so there’s only so much she can do. Still, she has helped quite a few people on a small scale. Her weapons were forged with magic, so they’re not completely useless, but they are far from enough.

Akshan – Is in the event.

Alistar – Alistar fought as much as he could to repel the wraiths coming from an unknown place beyond the sea, but every hit he gave them was pointless, for they reformed instantly from the Mist that hailed them. Despite his best efforts, he got Ruined, and is now a terrifying foe to encounter in the wilds of Noxus.

Amumu – Due to his curse of unknown nature, Amumu is safe from any attack from the Mist and its wraiths. The specters can feel the powerful magic cursing Amumu, and avoid him as much as they can, fearing what it could do to them, as this curse is far older than theirs, and potentially far more potent.

Anivia – Anivia has not yet awakened from her slumber and is currently still waiting for her egg to hatch. Hidden deep inside the territories of the Freljord, the Mist has not yet come to her. Some pray that it never does; for should white snow turn to

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

When I got home, they were still there.