Why is everyone so tired on April 1?

Because they just finished a March of 31 days.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Just some puns

1: I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea. 2: Can February March? No, but April May. 3: I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 4: Never trust an atom, they make up everything! 5: Β I made a pun about the wind but it blows. 6: I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off! 7: What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee! 8: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink! 9: I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ricardo_my_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why were the ants enthusiastic about next month?

They had to MARCH into April.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't lobsters ever share?

Because they're shell-fish. First child due in April!πŸ˜ƒ

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timsketchy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: I'm pregnant and you're the father!

Me: Seriously!?

Wife: It's a prank! Happy April Fools!

Me: You mean you're not pregnant?

Wife: No, I mean you're not the father.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman's body.

He'll be born in April

πŸ‘︎ 165
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a man whose last name is Storm

He has three daughters:

Summer, April, and Haley.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ncsuandrew12
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It is April 2nd

I now wash my hands of all COVID-19-related April Fool's jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend?

April, fools

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NYC_Punisher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
March is Cancelled

This is the ultimate April Fools' joke.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wernershnitzl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?

April tool

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/9874123456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Decided to tell my parents some good news with a dad joke

"So, do you have to work on Labor Day this year?"

"No, we both have off."

"Did you hear they're changing it next year?"

"What?"

"Yeah, they're moving it to April."

Looks of confusion

"At least that's what my doctor said."

The dawning of comprehension on their faces, then big smiles and hugs!

..... Btw, I am a woman. I didn't specify in the post, but the context clue would be "MY doctor." I was just raised on sarcasm and corny jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bonnieisstillhot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
🚨︎ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Ideas for months of the year puns?

Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.

Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
April Fools

One April Fools eve, my wife went to bed early. Just shortly after 12:01am, I went in to bed. I noticed I woke her up and I immediately said, β€œCan you make the kids lunch?” She was so pissed at me and stormed out the bedroom only to find the kids lunch already made in the fridge! AAAAAppppprrrriiiilll FFFooooooolllllllllsss!!

Edit: Didn’t get laid that night.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisDoodIce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
That singer who is a month too

April Lavigne

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JVPMBR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_ivy_ally
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No but April May

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

πŸ‘︎ 240
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May!

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_SarcasticEditor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February March ?

No but April May

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moe87b
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kunalbee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s April 1st...

Happy April Flu’s Day!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a dad whose last name is Storm

He has three daughters:

Summer, April, and Haley.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ncsuandrew12
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me whether February could March.

I replied β€œNo, but April may!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fehlurian_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I would say may luck be with you today but

it's still April

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drdebica
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSketchiest
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to stop telling dad jokes...

...Happy april fools day!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Too bad I don’t have an April fools joke

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofcin_2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If january threw a parade would february march?

no but april may!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.